LaLaLa..

Moving on Up

2005-07-13T11:06:00.000-07:00

There once was a young woman with a dream.. a dream of being able to update the world on a daily basis with all the insanities of her life and the random thoughts in her head. She started a blog to record life with a toddler, a career and a husband and a problem with impulse shopping.

The funny thing was that people liked her stories, they were amused by her antics. While friends from a far were able to check-in on her daily life, others started to also. Then more people.. and more and more.. Now about 60 - 100 people read her rantings on a daily basis (even though they don't all comment so we really have NO clue who these people are!).

But plain and simple wasn't good enough for this girl.. no no no. She's too hip, too cool for "templates" She wanted pictures, flowy font and FLOWERS! So what did she do?

She went out and got herself her own land.

Introducing: www.LaLaLaLand.com

Come visit and bookmark BETH'S NEW BLOG!

(I promise not to talk about myself in the 3rd person on a regular basis)

“You want a Big Smokey? Cause you like it spicy!”

2005-07-12T15:16:00.000-07:00

Oh my. Maybe it's the sugar (i broke down and had a brownie. it was out of spite, but thats another story) but I'm crying I'm laughing so hard. Read THIS.

28 hours to spa time…

2005-07-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

Counting the moments, I so need a little break here.

I had to wake up at 5 AM this morning so that I could be at work by 6:30 for an event. Waking up that early is hard enough, but it was made even harder by the morning news. Back to back to back stories about poor, innocent children being hurt or killed or kidnapped or who are missing. Our news did a 5 minute segment on the jackass who in a stand-off with the LAPD used his 19-month old daughter as a shield in a gunfight. And what about the woman who drove 8 hours with 2 of her children in her TRUNK?! Her excuse?! She didn’t have enough room in the car with the dog and the luggage also. Let me repeat that - She didn’t have enough room in the car with the dog and the luggage also.

I will give you all your moment of stunned silence/rage.

At least when you hear the stories of Natalie Hollaway or those 2 kids from Idaho you can rest assured that they were loved and well taken care of by their families and still would be if it wasn’t for some random act by some psycho. But the stories about the parents that do these things to their own children just kill me. I spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week making sure that I can give my child enough love, support and protection from the world as I possible can. Everyday I agonize over whether or not I’m doing all the right things for him. Is he getting enough veggies? Is he getting the right about of stimulation? Is daycare good for him or traumatizing him? How can I keep him from touching the germy trash can? So I just don’t get it. I don’t get how a parent could do anything else but love and protect their children in every single way possible. Not put them in the line of fire as your loser ass is trying to run from the cops. AGH!

In effort to not work myself up into a tizzy over other people’s stupidity (mantra from therapy: “Its their issue, not yours. Its there issue, not yours.”) I will now think about a more light hearted topic like the Nordstom sale that begins tomorrow or the new cheap CoverGirl “tru blend” make-up that I bought and not sure that I like. Unfortunately, when I try to not seethe in hatred for the dumbasses of the world, my brain goes immediately to the box of delightful brownie bites in the kitchen area. Brownies will make the world better, wont they?

DAMN YOU WHITE FLOUR! DAMN YOU!

My parachute is black with dog hair and baby vomit all over it

2005-07-11T13:01:00.000-07:00

Lucas woke up today at 6:45 (15 minutes before we usually have to wake him up) and started whining. All throughout getting him dressed, giving him some milk and cheerios and the car ride to daycare, he was grumpy and moping. I feel bad that the kid had to learn of life’s toughest lessons so early on… That Mondays Suck.

2 weeks ago, my office moved from the temporary, abandoned wasteland of a space in which we were “squatters” in to a deluxe, top floor, newly built out prime location. Gone is the bridge to Nordstrom (just mere weeks before the sale of the year!) and the scary hallway where either terrifying Aliens or Christopher Walken may jump out of. Now we have floor to ceiling windows, limestone tile and a kitchen with granite countertops. But while it may look nice, it just doesn’t feel right. I laugh in the mornings when I walk into my office with my large faux mahogany desk and high back, black leather chair. While part of me thinks, “yea, big time baby!” the other part of me feels as I’m faking it. I can walk the walk the walk and talk the talk, but am I really fooling anyone?

Wednesday we have a “staff development and retreat,” which is slightly humorous to me since there are only four of us in the office and most of the day will be spent getting luxurious spa treatments from at the Spa at Torrey Pines. (CAN. NOT. WAIT.) The development part of the day is being lead by the chairman of our board, and before I go any further I want to tell you all that this is the man we all dream of working for. He’s all about work/life balance and treating employees with respect. He’s nice, he’s easy to talk to and he really seems to have realistic, no BS/Drama way of getting things done. I 100% respect this man and his ideas and I told him that one day I want to work for him directly. That being said, for our “development” he asked all to read the classic career book, What Color is Your Parachute.

First reaction is a bit sketchy since it is a book about job hunting – and the guy running the organization asked us to read it… but, I figure if they were shit canning all of us, they wouldn’t be getting us massages and/or scrubs and taking us and our spouses out to nice dinner after. But the other thought was what if this book (which I have read before in college) tells me that my career choice is all wrong for me. Then what?

Jason and I talked a lot about this on the way up to LA for the merging of the grandparents (His parents. My parents. BBQ. Nothing really to report). The thing is that I know that I’m good at my job. Skills wise, I rock. But is this my passion in life or a means to an end? And how many people out there really are passionate about their jobs? While WCIYP makes it seem easy to just “go out and do what you love,” how realistic is that?

I remember the first time I read that book. I was still a good 1 ½ years from graduating college, and LIFE was beckoning. I was a speech communications major! I could do anything I wanted to! I was young! I was motivated! Everyone wants ME to work for them! I was so full of optimism. THAT’S what I miss most about that time in my life – the optimism. Now when someone asks me what my dream career would be, while I would love nothing more in the world than to open little boutique, all I think about is how hard it would be and what are the chances of it really succeeding and how the hell am I going to get the money to open a store. While one may think that’s pessimistic of me – I think its just reality. While its wonderful to fantasize about your “Dream Job!”, how much of a reality is it? I guess that I’ve been bitten in the ass by reality too many times.

And just like Mondays, reality can suck.

NOT that my reality sucks!! God, this post has turned into this morbid, depressing diatribe. I almost didn’t post it because I feel like freaking Debbie Downer. I didn’t mean this post to necessarily be about my lost dreams and lost youth. But more about the fact that I really want to tell Mr. Richard Nelson Bolles to go fuck himself and his parachute. I just want to check into the spa for my salt rub.

It's finally sunny and warm - so who wants a sweater?

2005-07-08T16:17:00.000-07:00

Now that 4th of July weekend is over, we are inching every so quickly towards the fall and "back to school!" line up of clothing. Have you noticed? Bright summer hues are already being replaced by browns and creams. Suddenly you are shivering as you are walking through Nordies because the temp inside the store is 58 degrees. And god love it - the mannequins are already wearing sweaters. Or "shrugs" as is the hot look this year.

I swear that the sun FINALLY came out here in SD this week. Didn't you read Jason's blog? We were sitting under BLANKETS and HEATLAMPS while watching the fireworks on Monday. It's just barely summer here, and I'll be damned if I'll be able to find a new bathing suit or pair of shorts after next week.

I want to fight it.. I want to curse the stores and force them to let us enjoy turquoise blue and bright coral for just a little while longer! But I just got the catalog for the Nordstom anniversary sale in the mail (starts on the 15th!) and crap, I love the shrug on the inside front page and I think I may need to break down and get cowboy boots.

The Week in Review

2005-07-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

Is this not the freaking longest week ever? And I have Friday’s off, and I’m still sitting here picking at my arm hair in complete and utter boredom. I’m telling you, the hate of the week after a 3-day weekend almost cancels out the happiness of an extra day out of the office.

So since I am totally inspirationless today, I thought that I would recap and add more thoughts to some of my recent posts.

Babies, babies, babies!
Welcome to the world baby Julian!! Julian was born on July 5th at about 4:15. He weighed 7 lbs and 13 oz and is apparently just adorable. I was hoping to be able to post a picture.. but alas, Auntie Beth has yet to receive one…

DON’T BE GLIB!
For those who are having as much fun as I am watching the deterioration of Tom Cruise, check out this site – www.tomcruiseisnuts.com . Good for a smile, and on a day like today, we all need something to smile about.

Saga of the Shoe
I actually have worn the lusted after espadrilles twice this week! While you can’t see the cute ties, they do look good with long pants or jeans – and they are pretty comfy. Still trying to figure out what else to wear them with, but as long as they look good with jeans I’m set.

Busy Busy Busy
Yesterday I made you all tear up with the adorable little story of my inquisitive toddler. So, now let me describe the antics of this kid from last night. After his bath, I was getting him into his PJs and he somehow escaped and ran away in to the kitchen. I actually had to tackle him to get his jammies on him, him shrieking the entire time like the comfy cotton was instead made of hot coals. After a 5 minute battle of the jammies, I just sat back and let him loose. OH MY GOD.

For the next 30 minutes, Jason and I sat there as Lucas ran around the house like a crack head with ADHD. Fist we pulled out all the toys, then over to the surfboard step stool to “pop up”, then over to his chair to climb it, then back to the step stool, then over to his “gobble and go” hippo, then into the kitchen to open a drawer, then back to chair, then over the bookshelf, then jumping on the dog, then running down the hall to terrorize Mick a little more, then over to the glass doors to bang, then over to his toys to throw a few balls around.. I mean, this went on and on and on. We just stood there with gaping mouths wondering where he gets that energy from because it is NOT from us.

But my question is, with that as my son, HOW AM I NOT LINDSAY LOHAN SKINNY? With all the energy I expend just keeping up with my little Tasmanian devil, why are you not talking about me behind my back and expressing your concern over my dramatic weight loss?! IS IT BECAUSE I ATE THAT ONE BREADSTICK? REALLY? IS LIFE THIS CRUEL?!

On the topic of carbs..
I have this funny blood sugar thing. I think. Okay, when I eat something like a donut or powerbar, I get what I have named “sugar head.” It’s almost like a brain freeze, but from sugar/flour overload. It only happens with super sugary things that are also pastries.. I don’t know, that’s why until Krispy Kreme opened in San Diego I hadn’t eaten a donut in 6 years. So, besides feeling like an idiot for licking Pat & Oscars breadsticks just taste the yummy buttery salty goodness, I actually don’t mind the South Beach Diet. It’s not gotten REALLY nice now that you can buy the nifty little SBD brand foods! Yee-Haaaw, COOKIES! So, I bought a few of the SBD meal replacement bars, thought it would be good for those mornings when I need to try on everything in my closet before just breaking down and wearing the same black pants and black top, and don’t have time to make/eat eggs.

Yesterday was totally one of those days. I had to be at an event at 7, and being that my black pants were at the dry cleaners I was screwed and had to empty the contents of our closet onto our bed and scream and cry about how I have no clothes. I left the house at 6:55, grabbed the meal replacement bar, so proud of myself for remembering it so that I wouldn’t be tempted to eat a bagel at the event. Halfway to the event I realize that I forgot to put on a bra. Yea. Nice, huh? I was wearing one of those shelf-bra tank tops under my t-shirt, but I still usually wear a bra under it for modesty’s and for professionalism’s sake. But that’s not the point of the story, and since I had a jacket on, I don’t think anyone noticed (can I also mention the fact that really the only person who notices my tits anymore is my mother, and that’s only when I’m grabbing them, bitching about the loss of my perky lovelies to pregnancy and nursing. If anyone else did actually notice that I wasn’t wearing a bra, I would have been THRILLED that someone was actually looking at my chest). ANYWAY. So I start to eat the SBD bar that has “>2” grams of sugar.. and I get flipping sugar head anyway.

Hmm.. the no bra part of that story was FAR more interesting than the sugar part, huh?

Bizarre Hollywood coincidence

2005-07-06T20:17:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, Jason and I met my friend Ann (my fan from Sudan) for breakfast at this funny little coffee shop in Hollywood that was made famous from the movie Swingers. We seem to have a pretty good track record of seeing celebrities when we go out to breakfast in LA, and this day did not disappoint, and we saw Jeremy Sisto, the creepy brother Billy from HBO's Six Feet Under.

So anyway, tonight we are watching Monday's night Six Feet Under on our beloved DVR, and Claire and Billy are sitting at a coffee shop - THE SAME COFFEE SHOP WE SAW HIM AT.

Bizarre, huh? Think it means something?

Pulling it out when it counts*

2005-07-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

I think we’ve scared a few of you ‘childfree’ ones a few times over the past few months with stories about the munchkin sized monster currently terrorizing our house… the screaming, the tantrums, the never-ending illnesses, the massive, all consuming shits… But, I must hand it to the kid, he can be a DREAM child at all the right times.

I mean there have been a few times over the past few months where I thought something would be a complete nightmare with him. Like, the plane ride (which yes, was a nightmare – but not because of anything that Lucas did) or a later than expected dinner at a restaurant with in-laws that haven’t seen him 7 months and second cousins that we haven’t seen in 5 years, these were both situations that could have been a recipe for disaster. But I must give the boy props – he can be the sweetest, most well behaved child – and he tends to pull out the “angel baby” routine when it really counts.

Jason and I are always getting “Lucas is the best baby!” and “What a GREAT kid!” from friends and family and even strangers. It’s just amazing to us. We’re so deep in the trenches with him that all we see is the meltdowns at the mall and the throwing food at dinner time or THE KID THAT IS OBSESSED WITH PUTTING HIS HANDS IN THE TRASH CAN AND TOILET.

The other night after Lucas went to bed, Jason and I were sitting there on the couch talking about what a fantastic child Lucas really is, and how intriguing it is to watch him turn into this little person.

Right now his daycare is teaching shapes and his “teachers” made him this little construction paper book of the 4 shapes they are learning. Yesterday he was carrying it around all afternoon, bringing it to us and making us go through the little book. We would ask him where the square is, and he would turn the page and point to the square and then smile and clap with excitement. The simplest things to us, are all brand new to him – and all he wants to do is get out there and explore it all.

Jason’s favorite “trick” of the moment? Ask Lucas where his nose is, and he immediately sticks ½ his finger UP his nose.

God – I love that kid. I so want to feign an illness right now and go get him from daycare and just spend the rest of the day hugging him.

*So just curious, how many of you thought this post was going to be about something sexual?
MIND – GUTTERS – OUT!

Random Notes from the 4th of July Weekend

2005-07-05T12:00:00.000-07:00

First off, we are old.

There will be no stories of drunken debauchery and skinny dipping in the bay during fireworks. Sorry to disappoint. Since our long weekend was somewhat uneventful due to the massive house cleaning that needed to be done in preparation for the in-laws arrival (they are not staying with us, but still, we like to at least put on the airs that we are clean, well groomed people worthy of raising their grandson) but I still have a few points of interests (maybe) from this weekend.

FINALLY!
I have been LUSTING after a pair of black, wedgie espadrille sandals that tie around my ankle for the past 6 weeks. They spent many a shopping trip on the top of my “must have” list due to the fact that I see them on other people, but have NEVER SEEN THEM IN THE STORES. WTF?! They obviously exist, why do they allude me? Well, this weekend I found them. There they were at Nordstrom just waiting to be bought. The sales lady said they have only had them for 3 days. I was ecstatic.

You don’t understand, for the past 3 weeks, every time I put on an outfit I think that it would look SO much better if I had these shoes. So I get the shoes home and begin to try them on with various outfits. So my ‘summer’ ankle length jeans are a little too long for them. My fave flowered skirt just doesn’t look right with them. Not even my black gaucho pants… WHAT THE HELL?! SIGH. So they sat there through the holiday weekend, unworn and unloved.

I’m Too Sexy For My Clothes
Jason needed new shorts, so we went to Abercrombie and Fitch, because while everything else in that store has shrunken down to sizes that only fit midgets and 13 year olds, their men’s shorts are still the best. We turn the corner and walk into the store and I almost rolled Lucas’ stroller straight into a real life Abercrombie model – wearing nothing but low (and I mean LOW) slung jeans and a belt. Now, while the shitless wonder was indeed HOT!, I had to bite my tongue to stop from laughing right in his face.

So what IS A&F selling these days, overpriced worn through cargo pants, or sex?

The Quest
I am a white girl. I may have mentioned before that Jason has this fabulous skin color that after 5 minutes in the sun he goes the perfect shade of golden brown. Yea, not me – I go pink, or red and once even blue and blistered. So, self tanners have actually been a godsend for me as I’m finally able to achieve that golden glow. Well, here is a tip for all my fellow “tanorexics” out there – if you are using the fake stuff, and you get a pedi, just say “NO” to the callous remover treatment. While the lure of completely sloughed feet may sound nice, it eats right through the “tan” and leaves your feet and legs all mottled and you end up looking like you have the same disease that afflicts Michael Jackson. Yea, not so hot.

Last but not least…
Just got a call from my good friend Marina, and she’s in LABOR! So within the next 24 hours we will be welcoming a new little life into the world.. That thought always makes me smile - even on the Tuesday after a long weekend.

The “Anointed Womb” (as titled by the fabulous duo at www.gofugyourself.com)

2005-06-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

Interesting… got this email today from an anonymous source.. thought I would pass it on to the internets since you know that one of my main goals in life is to keep all my readers hip and cool and “in the know”.

Obviously this a second hand email, so take from it what you choose to believe.

“A friend of mine just got back from LA and heard this scoop about Tom & Katie from someone who works at Universal. The source said that they (Tom & Katie) have a 5-year contract and he's paying her $8 million.The engagement happened so fast because Rob Thomas' (Matchbox 20) wife caught Rob and Tom in bed together and they rushed the engagement so that it would overshadow that scandal.”

Read below. This was just published.
Posted on Datalounge.com by Independent Sources
Tom Cruise and Matchbox Twenty’s Rob Thomas are lovers!

Independent Sources has hesitated writing about Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes for many reasons. First, there are other things going on in the world that, believe it or not, rank higher on the importance scale. Second, pretty much everything that can be said is being said.However, someone (I'll call her Mistress of the Hollywood Rumor) just walked into Insider's office with the following dish that I feel compelled to pass on. I did a quick check of Technorati and it wasn't there. So even if it is not true, it is at least original.

No doubt that anyone with an Internet connection has read about Tom Cruise being gay. According to rumor lore, he has had a long-time boyfriend in Chicago who is an Asian pilot for American Airlines. This is an accusation that Cruise and more importantly Cruise's many attorneys vehemently deny.There have been many stories that supposedly corroborate his sexuality but never a smoking gun. Rumor mongers attribute this to the fact that Cruise goes to great lengths to cover his tracks. We are told that everyone around him signs extensive confidentiality contracts with enormous penalties for indiscretion. (Exhibit A: the 8-page confidentiality contract Cruise's housekeeper was forced to sign).

Such stories have been around for years and Cruise has evidently attempted to counter them with a series of high-profile heteronormative relationships. First, Nicole Kidman, then Penelope Cruz, and most recently Katie Holmes. In each instance, the "relationship" is actually a contract that gives the women a boost to their careers, a lot of money, and an elegant lifestyle.

Here is where this particular rumor gets interesting. Not long ago, Marisol, the wife of Matchbox Twenty's Rob Thomas (who has had to contend with his own rumors of bi-sexuality) found her husband in bed with Tom Cruise causing Cruise's people to shift into high gear.First, Mrs. Rob Thomas was bought off for an undetermined sum. Second, Cruise and his handlers set out to immediately find Cruise a girlfriend. Second-tier actresses were targeted. A list was drawn up with JessicaAlba (#1 pick) and three other girls who fell out for various reasons. Originally targeted (#3 I think) but later rejected as "undesirable" was rumor queen Lindsay Lohan. Way down at #5 on the list was Katie Holmes, but that was the one with whom they were able to strike a deal.

Once the contact was signed, photo ops were set up, leaks were made to the right places, and we've had celebrity relationship on steroids ever since.One thing I will credit this rumor for is how it nicely explains Tom's behavior this past few months-including the couch jumping episode on Oprah. Cruise simply didn't have time for the Holmes rumors to circulate at its normal speed and he couldn't allow it to be second page news while the tabloids focused on Brad, Jennifer and Angelina. No, this relationship had to immediately become the "it" topic.

Well, that's how we hear it.[A reminder to those of you reading this who have trouble differentiating truth from unsubstantiated rumor: at this point this is all conjecture. All we are doing is confirming the existence of a rumor that the Mistress tells us is all over Hollywood.] We should also add that this story is a bit of a departure for us. If you are interested in keeping up to date on it and other celebrity gossip, we suggest Defamer.

HipMamaB's disclaimer:
This is just GOSSIP! But's its SO GOOD...

and an added funny:
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/poptoons/tomcruise_katieholmes.asp

Day Four

2005-06-30T09:24:00.000-07:00

Jay and I went back on “the beach” (South Beach Diet for those not in the know of diet slang), and today is day 4. 4 days now with out a carb or a gram of sugar. 4 days of nothing but eggs, meat, cheese, veggies, nuts and sugar free/fat free fudgsicles. I’m officially in sugar withdrawal, as I’m dizzy and have a pounding headache and I swear that my computer screen is moving side-to-side as I write this.

I was just wondering out loud to my co-workers if this “losing weight” thing would be easier the Nicole Ritchie/Lindsay Lohan way. The both looked at me and agreed that “Beth on Crack” would be really scary and if I talked any faster or was any louder they would have to shoot me.

Crack? What do you mean? Do these nice girls look like the type that would do drugs?

They aren’t doing drugs.. they are just "working out with personal trainers." Right?

BFF

2005-06-29T20:27:00.000-07:00

This weekend something strange happened… I was transported into the future of my 12-year old self.

When we were 12, Debbie, Annie and I used to sit around and talk about the future – what we were going to do, who we were going to be and the boys that we would be married to.

Flash forward 18 years. There we were, the three of us. Full grown adults, 2 of us with husbands, me with a baby, one a lawyer and one living an adventure in Africa. It was the strangest thing.

I’ve passed on stories before from Ann, my fan from Sudan.. so you already know about what an amazing person she is. I mean giving up the comforts of western society to live in the African bush to promote AIDS awareness and education. I mean really, it’s not something that the majority of us would ever think about doing.

Then there is Debbie. Debbie and I were best friends from like 3rd grade until 10th grade when I went to a different High School. So not only did we have the silly Barbie doll and let’s play with make-up years – we also had those formative early teen years of first kisses, firsts drinks (and first hang-overs), and first parent-free parties. Unfortunately, we drifted as late-teens, saw each other here and there through high-school and college, then totally lost touch when we were about 22 or 23. But thanks to the wonders of Google – we caught-up again.

So here we were, the 3 of us. Drinking a beer, sitting at a bar and it was totally surreal. I know I was instantly transported back in time to sitting behind the bar at Debbie’s parents house, taking sips from the Manischewitz bottle (hey! All good Jewish girls got drunk on left over Passover Manischewitz for the first time!), then refilling it with grape juice and hoping no one would notice. Or the time when Annie’s “bad influence” neighbor girl MADE us all try to smoke a cigarettes and then we got caught (really – she MADE us! None of us had even thought about it and she made us come back to her house and sit in her guest house and take a puff. She was a rich girl whose mom was a *semi-famous* radio show call-in shrinks in the 80’s) and we all had to tell our parents what we did. I sware, sitting there having a beer, I was SURE one of our parents were going to walk in and "catch us" and send us to our rooms and not let us have sleep-overs for 2 weeks.

While I think we all seemed different to each other at first, more mature, more adult, a few hours later we were right back to the giggly 12-year old girls, talking about boys and what we want to be when we (finally) grow-up. And ya’ know what? It felt really good.

Shameless Promotion, Part Deux

2005-06-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

I know that by now most of you have all run over (clicked over?) to Amazon.com and bought my brother’s ep, right?

Well for those of you who are lagging, and I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, here is a little more incentive. Foreign Born was chosen last week as the Pick of the Week in the LA Weekly.

Here’s what they said:

Foreign Born, zZz at Spaceland.
Wrapping up their free Monday-night Spaceland residency, local gloom merchants Foreign Born play L.A. for the first time since last week’s release of In the Remote Woods, a five-song EP brought to you by the tastemaking New York indie StarTime International. StarTime’s got a history of being in the right place at the right time — the label issued early records by Big Apple hipsters the Walkmen and French Kicks — so don’t be surprised if you start hearing the band’s swoony, Interpol-like guitar rock in places where you may be grateful you can say you knew ’em back when. Openers zZz, from Amsterdam, play down-and-dirty garage rock on an organ and drum kit; imagine Mates of State as the children of Jon Spencer and Glenn Danzig. (Mikael Wood)

See?! What did I tell you? I told you to listen to me!

Get to know them NOW so that you can at least pretend that you are still hip and cool when they make it big and are being played at a bar or party you somehow happen to be at so that you can turn to your friends and say “Oh yea, I’ve had their album forever. I heard they were great when they used to play at Spaceland in LA.”

Your friends will be in awe at your coolness. I promise.

SALE! SALE! SALE!

2005-06-27T16:33:00.000-07:00

I SO should be pregnant right now. Why? Because if I was, I would have the cutest freaking maternity wardrobe – ALL FROM REGULAR STORES!

The Limited started its “real sale” today – so I ran over to check it out (I always do good on t-shirts and tops for $6.99), but I swear, everything I tried on could have been a maternity shirt. It’s kinda a double edged sword for me. While I like things that hide this post baby whythehellwontyougoawaymustibepunishedforeverforlikingbread stomach, I also don’t want to look pregnant. I was there – 8 months of wearing maternity clothes while being preggers, and a month or so after in “transition” clothes.

Empire waists were my look last year – so WHY is everything in every store like that this year? So unfair. (And yes – the fashion world should revolve around me)

My mom and I were so excited to go to this store Zara in Santa Monica this weekend. I’ve heard that it’s like H&M (note to H&M peeps – PLEASE open a west coast store soon! Thanks!) as in that it has nice, stylish clothes for cheap. A Forever 21 for the over 21 and ‘not a teenage hooker’ crowd. We get there and OHMYGOD they are having a SALE! Well, between my mom and I we must have tried on a good ¼ of the store and neither of us bought ONE THING. It almost got to that point of desperation when you buy something JUST to buy something. I mean, we talked about this store for a week, planned our day around it, and the store had TWO WHOLE FLOORS of women’s clothing and did I MENTION THERE WAS A BIG FAT SALE?! And you must admit, things looks SO much better when they are 40% off the lowest marked price. Right?

One time Jason and I were at the Gap and I was making him try on a bunch of things. He came out of the dressing room empty handed and I asked him what happened. He said “Nothing looked good.” And I said “What about those shorts – they were only $14.99?” He looked at me and said “Beth, they didn’t look good. Not for $40, not for $14. I wouldn’t even buy them if they were $1”

My thought when he said this was “Really? Not even for a dollar?”

Therein lays my problem. I’m a sucker for sales. I love shopping – but I LOVE shopping for cheap. I’m telling ya’ – walking into J Crew and seeing ‘2 for $20’ t’s puts me in a better mood than Xanex washed down with a glass of Chardonnay.

An FYI

2005-06-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

I seem to know a lot of people that are having babies at the moment. One of my best friends in the entire world, Marina, is going to pop any day now. I’m so excited for her.. I can’t wait for her to see her baby boy for the first time, to finally get to hold him and hug him and love him. But I have piece of advice (HA! Like I really have “just” one piece…) – treasure each and every minute of it. Because it really does go by SO fast.

I know that when you are up at 3 am with an infant that has been crying for 2 hours straight and you have no idea why or how to make him stop, you will think that it can’t go by quick enough. But it will. I promise you and I warn you.

They go from:

2005-06-23T13:38:00.000-07:00

this (Lucas, June 2004)

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to this (Lucas, June 2005), WAY too quickly. Enjoy each and every moment.

Shameless Promotion

2005-06-22T18:21:00.000-07:00

I need to take a second to brag about my brother... the classically trained musician who is now in a hip, up-and-coming, LA rock band. Last week they were featured in the "download this" section of Entertainment Weekly and this week, their first EP was released.

Dowload their songs - http://www.foreignbornmusic.com/ then go buy their CD at Amazon.com . Come on, help the kids out.. it's only $6.

Plus, if they do become the next White Stripes or Coldplay, you can say that you were in on the "ground floor" of their popularity. It's really a win-win situation for all involved.

Hump Day Hate

2005-06-22T12:58:00.000-07:00

1) ATT/Cingular Wireless – YOU SUCK. Don’t blame and CHARGE me $200 because you can’t keep your shit straight. I will get you. One way or another (and I mean by participating in one of the MANY class action law suits against your asses or by getting my friend the “carrier activist” involved) I will GET YOU BACK for the past 24 hours of madding, cell phone hatred.

2) The stupid clerk at Charlotte Russe (don’t ask) who, when asked by the nice 16-year old Indian (as in country, not native) who was probably defying her mother by even setting foot in the store for teenage prostitutes, if they had anything in the store that was black with sleeves, scrunched up her face in a total condescending smirk and replied “SLEEVES? I don’t THIN-K so..”

3) Men who try to pretend that they are macho by making STUPID ASS comments like “Yea, my wife is pregnant with her first baby. She’s all excited but I’m like, I guess my guy time goes out the window.” YOU ARE A THIRTY SOMETHING YEAR OLD MAN AND YOU ARE CREATING A WONDERFUL, AMAZING NEW LIFE! DON’T be SUCH a jackass! It’s not 1956 – It’s NO LONGER COOL to pretend like you don’t care that you are about to have a baby. In fact, it makes you look like a HUGE ASSHOLE. Especially when you say it to a woman with a sick 15-month old at home.

Tell me again, WHY is it not Friday yet?!

There is nothing worse in the entire world than a sick baby

2005-06-21T22:24:00.000-07:00

Here are facts that only a parent would know. The average baby has 3 ear infections by it's first birthday. Babies get mild fevers when they sprout new teeth and they say that if adults were to go through the teething process, we would go absolutely insane.

While we all think of babies as these soft headed, weak necked, fragile things - they are actually pretty resilient for all the shit that they go through.

Late last year, we used to brag about how healthy Lucas was. How he had never had a fever and one got the sniffles once. Then - JUSTBECUASEWEWERECOCKYASSHOLES - irony felt the need to slam us to the ground HARD and give Lucas Kawaskai Disease, a rare illness that is actually the #1 cause of acquired heart disease in children - YET NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD OF.

One of the hardest parts of being first time parents is being able to trust your instincts. Often time we feel our "spidy sense" tingling, but reasonable rationale pushes it aside. While your gut is telling you "This is not right, my child's eyes and lips should NOT look like this, I bet he has a rare illness that will cause him to be in the hospital for 3 days" your rational self is saying "No, its just a virus - you are just a paranoid first time mom."

I've felt like that a lot lately. Last week I was sure that Lucas was this bizarre classification called a "spirited child." I was also sure that he was in peril and about to die a few weeks ago when I rushed him into the Dr office proclaiming that HE MUST have an ear infection because he's been crying for 3 days straight. Remember that post? The one where the Doctor APOLOGIZED to me for NOT finding something wrong with him?!

So yesterday morning when Lucas gave me this sad, pathetic little look and clung to me as I dropped him at daycare, I pushed that "hmm.. is something wrong?" feeling away. When I picked Lucas up yesterday and the teacher said that he had a slight fever of 99 a bit earlier, I passed it off as teething. I mean I didn't want to be THAT MOM who is constantly rushing her child into the Dr. every time he sneezes, ya' know?

So daycare called me today at 2:45 - Lucas has a temp of 103. I rush over to get him, his little face is bright red and he is on fire. After some motrin and a bath, it finally subsides. We go to the Dr. tonight; massive ear infection in both ears. I almost started crying when the Dr. said that. The guilt of sending my baby to daycare, and not realizing he was sick, hit me like a ton of bricks.

So here is my proclamation on parenting for tonight - Parenting is pretty much the constant internal battle between your irrational fears and your "common sense". And if you are like me and have no "common sense" - you are screwed.

Bittersweet Moments

2005-06-20T16:34:00.000-07:00

Lucas is not a cuddly baby. He is much more interested in the world around him than at snuggling with mommy. It sometimes makes me sad, makes me wonder if it’s because I didn’t breastfeed him long enough, if I encouraged independence at too early of an age by not co-sleeping.. all the angst and worry that a mom who reads too many websites on parenting may face. So I cherish those few moments when he takes a minute and actually slows down for a moment.

Today when I dropped him off at daycare he clung to me. He didn’t cry that I was leaving, but I knelt down to give him a kiss good-bye and he clutched on to me and wouldn’t let go. It was one of those moments when I wanted so much to just sit down and spend the next 30 minutes just being “needed” by him. I loved the feel of his little hands holding tight to me, the momentary feeling that this is normal, and this is how he acts all the time.

While I know that he’s doing well at daycare, and it’s SUCH a good thing for him, it’s still hard to pry myself away during that one minute of the day when he actually wants to be held.

Disappointment

2005-06-20T15:47:00.000-07:00

I had back-to-back meetings today in Downtown and Mission Valley. However, I did manage to get to my 2:00 one about 20 minutes early. We were meeting at a Coffee Bean in a shopping plaza that houses a DSW, Marshalls, and Old Navy. Hmmm.. what to do, what to do…

I decided to do a quick walk through at DSW. Honestly, 15 minutes alone in DSW is much better than 30 minutes with baby and/or husband. I remember my first trip to DSW – it was love at first sight. All those shoes.. all those good prices – H.E.A.V.E.N!! I remember filling my blue mesh bag with 15 different pairs of shoes and crying as I whittled them down to 2. I remember calling my mom and telling her that I just found the BEST. STORE. EVER. I mean I got the same wedgie sandals there that I tried on at Nordies the day before – but for $30 LESS! Even Jason scored there – getting a $80 pair of Doc Martens for $25! I was in love.

A few months after my discovery of a lifetime, Jason’s parents came into town from Omaha. I must have told Jason’s mom about DSW 25 different times before driving us both down there in what I was SURE would be an afternoon of shoe shopping delight. We walked around there for 20 minutes and neither one of us could find anything. Nothing. Nada. And I’m telling you, I haven’t been able to find anything since.

What happened DSW? Did you get too big for your britches so now you only sell junk? You are supposed to be the designer shoe WHEREHOUSE – so why are you selling last year’s Charles David shoes for $125 – that is not a deal!!

SIGH. It hurts so bad when a store that is so good turns so bad. You know you’ve hit bottom when there are over 500 pairs of shoes, and you don’t try on ONE PAIR. Even when you really, really want to.

A Little Father’s Day Embarrassment

2005-06-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

2005-06-19T12:19:00.000-07:00

While it totally verges on dorky, I just couldn�t resist.

2005-06-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

What would have been really bad is if I would have gotten the matching dress�

Truth and Consequence

2005-06-17T14:44:00.000-07:00

We all know that that the infamous DOOCE got fired for things written on her blog about her company. We all know that blogs are somewhat public and that anything that you write MAY be read by someone that you don't want to. On the other hand, we also know that these blogs are a way to vent, and are a creative outlet for our anger, depression and joy. This is in fact a private diary - just one the world can see.

Back in the beginning of our relationship, I read Jason's personal diary. It is something that I am still, 8 years later, embarrassed that I did. The thing was is that it was pages and pages about this other girl that he really liked, and one little mention of me on the last page.

I was hurt. But didn't feel that I should/could have the right to say something to him about it because I invaded his personal space. I could be hurt, but I could not be mad because these were HIS FEELINGS.I ended up asking him about it later on, and he told me the truth, that he stopped writing after dating me because he now had me to listen to his thoughts and fears. He no longer needed a spiral bound book to bounce ideas off of, or vent to, because he now had a partner in life to hear him out and share things with.

One of the company's I used to work for had a major round of lay-offs right after 9/11 and morale was pretty low around the office. So the CEO thought it would help to bring in this jackass doctor guy to help us with our feelings. While the majority of it was a bunch of corporate pycho-shit ("If we stop working we're giving the terrorists what they want! The only way we will overcome this is to work harder and show them that they can't stop us!"), one thing he talked about really hit home. He told us that "your feelings are yours, and yours alone. No one can take them from you, no one can tell you not to feel the way you do." And it's true - those are your thoughts and feelings and no one can make you feel bad for having them or tell you not to feel that way. And while others may be upset over your feelings, they can not be mad at you for having them.

The thing about the written word is that emotions can get lost in the translation. Scarcasim is misread as action or truth, frustration may seem like anger and tongue-in-cheek comments make you seem like a shallow bitch or even come across as threatening words.

So, does that mean you can't write about your feelings? Does that mean that you can never put anything down that may upset or offend ONE PERSON that may, or may not, ever read it? And can you get mad at someone for voicing thier feelings? Especially on their own website?

The funny thing with "truths", is that while many may think it - the one who actually says it outloud is the one judged the harshest.

Things not to do on a Wednesday at work

2005-06-15T13:57:00.000-07:00

Don’t talk to your also fashion-obsessed co-worker about your irrational NEED to purchase something to make the stress of the week feel better. Don’t obsess over the black espadrille shoes that you see everyone else wearing but for the life of you can’t find in the freaking stores. Don’t decide that you and your co-worker need retail therapy and walk across the bridge directly to Nordies and make a bee-line for the MAC counter because lipstick always makes you feel better. Don’t become obsessed with needing a whole “NEW LOOK” right that very instant. Don’t look at the other girls at the counter to see what they are buying and try to copy it. Don’t decide to buy fake-eyelashes. Don’t envision yourself looking 10 lbs lighter with beautiful hair that is not overly in need of a cut and color wearing lovely fake eye-lashes and looking just naturally beautiful. Don’t insist that the MAC girl put the fake-eyelashes on you that very instant.

Because if you do, you will feel really stupid sitting at your desk at 2:00 on a Wednesday with heavy lashes and way too much black liquid eyeliner (to blend the lashes) on when you usually just wear a light brown simple eyeliner and will be wishing you can run home and wash your face.

Better to look good than feel good!

2005-06-15T11:15:00.000-07:00

While this is a personal mantra of mine (because I am a shallow bitch), which is often repeated over and over when wearing my HOTT ASS platforms that give me about 4 more inches in height but makes me feel like a crippled ex-ballerina that danced Swan Lake on toe for 20 years, this does not work for toddlers.

Alas, the adorable Nike’s that I bought Lucas are total POS’s. The zipper instead of laces – good in theory, not in execution as it unzipps as the child walks causing the shoe to fall off said child’s foot. Not the best thing to happen as one is running full speed through the playground at daycare.

I actually felt like a bit of a degenerate mom when on Lucas’ daily report it was noted to “please put different shoes on Lucas. These ones kept falling off!”

“Whew! It’s cold tonight!! It feels like summer already!” – Craig, a San Fran native, Friday June 10, 2005

2005-06-13T14:02:00.000-07:00

If I had to choose the picture perfect, ideal place for me to live, it would be San Francisco. I love the urban meets California feel. I love the restaurants, the shopping, the houses, the buildings, the bridges. The place oozes cool.. I even love the “not so good neighborhoods” with the funny tranies and crazy bums playing the flute in the street. Lucas even seemed to feel the vibe. He was in a wonderful mood all weekend and just took in all the action. If we could have our way, we would move there in a second. The problem? We complain about the high cost of living in San Diego – so really? How could we justify a move to a more expensive city?

But GOD – we just LOVE IT.

We went this weekend for my good friend Marina’s baby shower. Marina and I have been friends since college – 10 years this year. We were in each other’s weddings and have seen each other both really grow-up over the years. Marina was the one responsible for introducing me to the bar scene in PB when I turned 21 and the next year we shared the same drink laced with some fun date rape drug some creep dropped into it. Ahhh.. good times.

And now we are mothers. Well, she will be sometime in the next 3.5 weeks.

We had a quick, but fun weekend. After the debacle of last week’s plane ride, I was actually looking forward to the drive up. But this trip was definitely different. Gone are the trips where we eat a late dinner then hit 2-3 hip night spots. This trip was all about being in at a decent time to get Lucas, and a very preggo Mari, to bed. We spent the whole weekend fantasizing about our next trip up where we will have a babysitter watch both boys while we go out and get smashed.

2005-06-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

Shoe Addiction

2005-06-13T13:16:00.000-07:00

It’s not what you think. Yes, I can’t help myself. Yes, I can’t pass by without stopping to look. Yes, they are not technically “needed” – BUT THEY ARE JUST TOO DAMN CUTE.

2005-06-13T13:15:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry - I have a soft spot in my heart for miniaturized adult things. I mean what toddler DOESN'T NEED Nike trail runners for the playground at daycare?

Literally drinking your own company’s Kool-Aid

2005-06-08T12:44:00.000-07:00

With all the travel, stress from travel and lack of sleep over the past few days, I feel like I’m about to come down with a cold. BUT since we are going to San Francisco on Friday, I really really can’t. So I go today to get a smoothie for lunch. Just what I need – a big boost of Vitamin C and anti-oxidants.

I walk into the smoothie place and am greeted by this booming voice from somewhere behind the counter. “HELLO! WHAT YOU WANT!!” and up pops this little Asian man. I swear, he literally pops up and bounces down to the other end of the counter. I asked what is the best drink if you feel like you are coming down with something. He points to a poster for some new drink and yells “THIS ONE! THIS ONE GOOD AND TASTE GOOD! IT GIVE YOU ENERGY!!” as he’s bouncing up and down like a 3-year who needs to pee.

So I order one and when it’s done he bounces down the counter and tosses the drink at me and pipes “DRINK IT! TRY IT! IT GIVE YOU ENERGY!!” then, I kid you not, he backs away from the counter and starts running in place while shifting his head from side to side like a boxer in-between rounds.

I thank the hyper, little man and leave the store. The guy that was right behind me was parked next to me, so I look at him and say “I think that guy needs to stop drinking those energy drinks” – the guy laughed and said “Yea, ya’ think?”

Verdict: INSANE

2005-06-07T13:58:00.000-07:00

Or as the nice/condescending people said with a look of pity on their faces, “You are so brave!”

Lucas and I arrived back yesterday afternoon from our trip sans Jason. “Monday?” you ask. “Were you not supposed to get back on Sunday?”. Ahh, yes. We will get to that fun part of the story in a moment.

But yes, I am officially insane for thinking that it would be a good idea to take a 15-month old halfway across the country by myself. Not that it was not doable, and not that it shouldn’t be done. But I will tell you, it’s insane to really think its 100% a good idea.

The Friendly Skies – HA

I did a lot of research on the best ways to travel with a toddler. I posted questions on my message board, I read internet articles on “Baby Travel Tips!”, I asked my friends what they do. The resounding conclusion was distractions, snacks and a little drugging (i.e. – Baby Benedryl or Motrin). I was prepared, or so I thought until I got to my first challenge – SECURITY. So how the hell do I put my carry on, purse through the Xray machine while holding a wiggling toddler and trying to collapse my stroller at the same time?

We get to the gate, I let Lucas run around through the terminal to get tired. We get on the plane and were lucky enough to have an empty seat next to me – then the flight attendant actually moved the guy on the other side of me, so we have the whole row. Lucas sleeps for the first hour and a half. Wakes up, plays with toys, eats some snacks…people smile and tell me what a wonderful baby I have. I’m now cocky and thinking how good I am.

2005-06-07T13:57:00.000-07:00

first airplane ride!

2005-06-07T13:55:00.000-07:00

Madison, WI – Cheese Curd Capital of the World

We had a great time in Madison. Great Town. Great Vibe. Lucas had tons of fun playing with Julia who’s only 2 months older than he is, but talking up a storm. We eat cheese curds, fish fry, brats – some true Sconie food. We SHOP SHOP SHOP. For the Midwest – I was impressed with the shopping. I was thrilled to be able to shop at BOP – but Murphy’s Law, Lucas had a complete meltdown upon entering the store. Sigh.

2005-06-07T13:54:00.000-07:00

love!

2005-06-07T13:53:00.001-07:00

Lucas and Julia sitting in a tree..

2005-06-07T13:53:00.000-07:00

We experienced our first Midwestern thunderstorm and unbelievable humidity. Kurt and Virginia spent the whole weekend singing the praises of Madison and trying to lure me into moving our family out there. People out here tell me I’m insane that I could never survive the winter out there. To be honest – I don’t think I could survive the summers. The whole 90 degrees and raining thing just doesn’t work for me. Bonus on the sweating though – I lost 4 lbs this weekend. Even after eating cheese curds… hhmmm.. something to think about.

2005-06-07T13:52:00.001-07:00

A Comedy of Errors

Sunday was actually really nice up until about 5:45 PM. Virginia drove us back to Chicago where we spent the day with my Grandma, Cousin Jenny, her son Jack, her husband and my aunt and uncle. It was Jack’s 3rd birthday, and he was all about the Thomas the Train – it was a sight of what our lives will become one day soon. Lucas was totally digging the trains, and they had fun running around the yard together. But it was HOT. Wow. Everyone kept saying “let’s go outside, it’s so beautiful!” and I kept thinking “95 degrees with 95% humidity beautiful?!” I was sweating like a pig.

2005-06-07T13:52:00.000-07:00

the capital

2005-06-07T13:50:00.000-07:00

The best picture that poor GiGi got with both her great grandsons

2005-06-07T13:48:00.000-07:00

Then we left for the airport. That’s when the trip took a turn took a turn.. then spiraled down into H.E.L.L.

Security at O’Hare is a mess. The whole airport is crowded and people are running and pushing. The United terminal is about 3 miles in from the entrance. I take the elevator up to our terminal and after being hit with a wall of 90 degree heat (yes, INSIDE) I notice the line of about 300 people at the United customer service desk. Then I get to the gate that my plane was assigned to, and it says “Los Angeles”. It was pretty much at that point that I knew I was not getting home that evening.

At first it didn’t seem so bad. The plane was delayed about 45 minutes, but when we boarded the flight attendant moved us to a row with an open seat and Lucas promptly fell asleep just as we were pulling away from the terminal. That’s where we hit bump #1 – there is a line-up of 30 planes trying to take off – we are #27. So we wait, and we move up an inch every few minutes. Then the plane moves a little and this horrible screeching fills the plane along with a toxic-like smell. The pilot comes on and says that it appears we have an issue, and maintenance is on its way to check us out. 15 minutes later the pilot reports that the plane has blown it’s entire hydraulic system and we were stuck and needed to wait for the tug-boat for planes to come get us. It was especially unnerving when he added “Let’s just all be thankful that this happened while we were still on the ground – we were only 3 minutes from take-off.” Nice.

So we wait. Apparently the 27 or so planes lined up behind us were the top priority. Then the little tug-boat for planes thing came out and promptly caught on fire 50 FEET FROM THE PLANE LEAKING HYDROULIC FLUID. Sooo.. 3.5 hours LATER they finally taxied us back to the terminal. Let me remind you people that the flight from Chicago to San Diego is only 4 hours. SIGH.

Then it’s the hurry up and wait thing to find out what hotel they are putting me in, what flight we are on the next morning, oh by the way did I mention that by this time it’s MIDNIGHT and I’m alone with a 15 month old who is now awake – at MIDNIGHT?!

We get to the hotel check-in and I realize a few things. Since they did not give us our luggage back - A) I don’t have enough diapers in my carry-on bag b/c I very carefully only packed enough to get me through the day
B) I don’t have any extra clothes in my carry on except for a sweatshirt for Lucas b/c my bag was overflowing with toys and snacks to distract the child on the plane and the ones I am wearing are already stained with splattered milk and goldfish cheese residue.
C) I don’t even have my contact case or glasses.
D) Last but not least, I only get to have 5 hours of sleep.

Sigh.

As we are headed back to the airport the next morning, I get a call from United saying that that changed the flight number from the boarding pass that they gave me the night before, so I have to check-in before going to the gate. At least by now, I have the security thing under control, but unfortunately Lucas had fallen asleep in the stroller during the 30 MINUTE wait to get a new boarding pass. Make the 3 mile trek through the underground fortress with the flashing neon lights that I figure are suppose to be “calming” for hopefully the last time, grab some breakfast with the food vouchers they issued the night before and camped out at our scheduled departure gate. By this time, all of us on the flight are friendly and joking with each other. I guess you really have to laugh at the situation (after swearing and cursing United’s name of course).

So I’m waiting to pre-board with Lucas. Watching the clock on the monitor as it counts down to “boarding time.” At 5 minutes to I start to pick up things around me. 4 minutes to I begin to rearrange the carry-on bag to fit all the things I just shoved in the stroller. 3 minutes to I put Lucas in the sling for easy carrying when I have to collapse the stroller by myself at the end of the walkway. 2 minutes, I move closer to the gate, because I have a baby and I get to PRE-BOARD. One minute to and I am READY. All Ready.. Yup. Standing there. Ready.

Then the lady at the gate comes on the speaker and says “Okay, I know most of you have been here since last night – so don’t shoot the messenger, but we are having some mechanical problems on the plane and the air conditioner isn’t working, so we are going to be a bit delayed..”

OH MY GOD. This is either a cruel joke or God’s way of telling us that we should not get on a plane and go back to San Diego.

After 30 minutes I go to the ticket lady and give it to her straight. I CAN NOT be stuck here in the terminal all day with a toddler. BY MYSELF. She puts me on stand-by for another flight leaving at 10:10 and I head down to the other gate. I get on the plane and, of course, have a middle seat between 2 business men. The plane is JAMMED with all the people from my other flight and there is not one empty seat on the plane. With Lucas on my lap there isn’t even enough room to have his snacks and toys out. Luckily the child fell asleep during take-off and slept for about 2 hours. Unluckily, the man in front of us reclined his seat back all the way.

I must say, that given the circumstances, Lucas was AMAZING. He did have a momentary breakdown about 3 hours into the flight, one which caused me to rush him to the back of the airplane and lock us both in a bathroom while I tried not to cry along with him. He was wiggly and restless.. but fuck. So was I.

We made it back to San Diego about 1:00 pm. About 20 hours after first arriving at O’Hare the day before. And San Diego never looked so good.

The funny part was that the week before I was talking about my anxiety over traveling with Lucas and the person I was talking to asked “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” I replied, “That Lucas would cry for 4 hours straight.” What ended up happening was FAR worse and never even crossed my mind.

Then again, had the hydraulics gone out after take off – it would have been a whole other story.

2005-06-07T13:47:00.000-07:00

UNITED SUCKS

If we weren't all crazy we would go insane

2005-06-01T22:08:00.000-07:00

Insanity flows through my veins. My brain just must not work like other's peoples do.. because surely any SANE person would never have thought that it would be a good idea to take a 4-hour plane ride with a 15-month old who can't sit still for 2 minutes and is in the process of sprouting molars. Especially when said toddler will be SITTING ON ONES LAP.

Oh, And don't call me Shirley..(tell me that wasn't the first thing that popped into your head when you read that line)

So off we go.. heading east to the mid-west. I have a duffel bag size carry on filled with books, toys, crayons (which Lucas really just eats, but what the hell, it may be good for 2 minutes of amusement) and enough "snacks" to feed a Sally Struthers starving Guatemalan child for 2 months.

I'm looking forward to girly time with Georgia (Shop Bop! In person! Not just online! The ability to TRY ON the things I drool all on my keyboard over!), seeing Madison and gorging myself on cheese curds and bratwurst. Good times. Hopefully.

If I don't throw myself- or my child- from a 747 somewhere over New Mexico.

Insanity is the only rational reason

2005-05-31T16:58:00.000-07:00

Note to all pregnant woman and women with small babies – Never look at a toddler throwing a fit and say “My child will never do that”. Never see a 15 month old throw a sippy cup and think “Can’t they control their child?” Because let me tell you, it will come back to haunt you. And payback is a big, fat hairy BITCH.

Lucas was an astonishingly good baby. Jason and I GLOATED and REVELED in how easy he was, how portable and how flexible. No colic, no reflux, started sleeping through the night at 5 weeks. FIVE WEEKS. Yes, this was our amazing super baby. Of course we had moments. Our favorite one happened at about 2 weeks when Lucas was up from about 2-4 AM alternating between crying and nursing and then Mick went out into the living room and diarrheaed all over the wall in the living room (yes, pointed his ass right at it and let loose). But still we had super baby and we gloated.

Until we hit 14-months.

What the fuck happened?! Our angelic wonderboy was abducted and replaced with Satan’s spawn. I swear I can feel the spots on his head where his horns are going to pop out at any moment. The kid has been a mess. The tantrums, the throwing everything, his non-stop obsession with kitchen utensils leading to him actually BREAKING a baby lock to get at the pasta colander. The 2:00 on the dot meltdowns. The uncontrollable sobbing and flailing about. It’s killing us. Just killing us…

This weekend was especially bad. If you could have seen the little performance we put on during lunch yesterday… In my head I keep thinking that there must be something wrong with him. He was squeezing his ears a lot, so I was sure it was an ear infection.

I called the Dr. this morning and Lucas was wailing in the background, so they gave me an emergency appointment. We go to the Dr. – we throw a fit in the waiting room, then continue to SOB for 45 minutes as we wait for the pediatrician in the most UNFRIENDLY kid room I have ever been (no Lucas, don’t unplug one of those 10 huge black plugs in the wall, not Lucas a speculum is not a toy..). So finally in comes the Dr., he apologizes for making me wait and says that he heard Lucas bawling and he must be sick! Checks one ear.. perfect. Checks the other ear.. hmm, also perfect. He checks his stomach, his glands, his throat even his TESTICLES, all perfect.

The Dr. then turns to me and says “I’m sorry, there is nothing wrong with him.”

HE’S SORRY?! He’s confirming my worst fear – my child is not suffering from horrible malady, this is his personality.

Thursday Lucas and I are going to visit friends in Madison, WI (don’t worry, while there I do plan on giving Georgia-on-my-mind a stern lecture about keeping up a blog) which means a 4 hour plane ride with Lucas on my lap. By myself. Did I mention Lucas on my lap?

I MUST be insane.

Retraction

2005-05-30T19:24:00.000-07:00

Dear San Diego -

Earlier this weekend I praised your beauty, your night life and the life-style that you offer. I gushed about your white sandy beaches rimming the great Pacific. I gloated about your cool restaurants and hip areas.

Please note, I want to formally retract all of those statements.

After a Sunday where 45 minutes WE STILL did not have a parking spot at the mall where we only wanted to exchange 1 shirt due to you OVERFLOWING with tourists that were pushed slightly inland from the beaches due to your "May Gray". And after a GORGEOUS Memorial Day where we could not get within throwing distance of a decent beach, once again due to the foreigners in tube socks with sandals and their Hawaiian shirts tucked into their dockers shorts, I remember why I have such a grudge against you.

The final straw? Swinging by a place that we thought we may be interested in renting (since, once again, even though we are WAY higher than the county's median household income, we STILL can't figure out how the fuck to buy a house) and have this $1750/month house be in the GHETTO. THE MOTHERFUCKING GHETTO PEOPLE. I did not even know that San Diego had "projects" until visiting this house.

So my dear San Diego, while you may be a "babe" - and every once in awhile I re-fall in love with you - I'm growing to hate you, and you $2.45 per gallon gas, more and more with each passing day.

Regards,
Beth

Happy Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday

2005-05-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

Today is Jason's 36th birthday. As our friends so nicely pointed out last night at dinner, he's over 1/2 way to 70. Considering that the average male's life expectancy is about 75, Jason is technically mid-life - will a crisis ensue? Will I be traded in for red Porche and a 25-year old? I seriously doubt it. If you don't know Jason personally, let me tell you this. He loves Lucas and I more than we will ever know. He's an amazing father and loving husband and we are lucky to have him in our lives.

I love you Jason, Have a wonderful day.

I don't even know where to begin with this one..

2005-05-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

If you saw Oprah last week, or saw one of the thousand clips that was repeated from the show, then I'm sure you two are worried about Katie Holmes' future...

2005-05-28T20:45:00.000-07:00

FREE KATIE

2005-05-28T20:40:00.000-07:00

Which makes this t-shirt , all the funnier..

Greetings from San Diego!

2005-05-28T18:36:00.000-07:00

We spend a lot of time bitching about living in San Diego. The gas prices, the house prices the "sunshine dollars" salaries.. but the truth is, we truly do live in America's Finest City. We totally take it for granted on a day-to-day basis.. I mean look at where we fucking live:

2005-05-28T18:35:00.000-07:00

The cluster of houses on the top of the hill on the left is where we live. Yes, we are slumming it.. we know.

home
Originally uploaded by SDBeth.

2005-05-28T18:32:00.001-07:00

This is

jasons_route
Originally uploaded by SDBeth.

literally Jason's drive to work daily

2005-05-28T18:32:00.000-07:00

torrey pines
Originally uploaded by SDBeth.

This is the view that we see daily as we drive down the hill from our house. I will admit that it doesn't always look like this...the coast does tend to get socked in by fog during May and June.

2005-05-28T18:22:00.000-07:00

So while we may never be able to own a $500K 2 bedroom condo, we really still have it pretty good.

every once in awhile we remember this. Like this weekend. Last night we went out to dinner and gellato with our friends from our childbirth class down in Little Italy. Embarrassingly enough, Jason and I have spent very little time in Little Italy. When we were single, it was still a pretty shady area right in the flight path of the airport. I knew that it has gone through a pretty good re-hab, but we've never really spent much time there. Last night after dinner we took a walk around the area and were SHOCKED at how cool it was. And stunned that we had never been there. It was a beautiful warmish (about 65) clear night and walking around we felt as if we were on vacation - someplace new and exciting and away from our "real life".

We continued that trend today by doing something that we really don't do that often, we went downtown to the Gaslamp District. Now in college - I practically lived downtown on the weekends. It is a hot spot for night clubs and hipster bars. But over the past few years downtown has EXPLODED due to the opening of PetCo Park (An AMAZING stadium I might add). Every time we are down there, there are new condos, new restaurants and new shops.

We decided to make like tourists today and walk around the Gaslamp and have an early dinner on the streetside patio of Rockin' Baja Lobster. Delicious buckets of shrimp and lobster and fajita and amazing margaritas. Lucas was even on good behavior - being very friendly with a funny middleaged African American woman who was the epitomy of they "Shaneqa" stereotype with her huge nails, pink sweatsuit and matching pink hat stratically placed so that her large bangs poufed out in the front. Lucas LOVED her. Thought she was hilarious (which indeed she was).

Its weekends like there where thousands of people descend on our city to vacation that we realize how lucky we are to live here and how much we really do love San Diego despite all it's challenges.

2005-05-28T18:15:00.000-07:00

downtown_night1
Originally uploaded by SDBeth.

Downtown skyline at night

So who hates us now?

I want to make him stay up all night..

2005-05-27T11:57:00.000-07:00

Sometimes Jason and I will be sitting on the couch watching TV after Lucas has gone to sleep and we will see a baby on TV, or tell a story about something cute he did that day, and we will miss him.

Before going to bed each night, we go in and check on him. Tuck him in and stroke his head a little.. he looks so peaceful, so sweet and so comfy. We literally have to fight the urge not to wake him up to hold him and cuddle him.

And every night before going to bed – either Jason or I has to sing at least one section of that Talking Heads song. It’s especially true when he has on his red pj’s – because he really looks so cute in his little red suit.

I treasure him at every point, every age and while I can’t wait for him to grow up, I wish he could stay a little forever.

Happy Dr. Irwin Mark Jacobs Day!

2005-05-26T16:37:00.000-07:00

For those of you not in San Diego, and actually those not in the technology industry, you probably have no clue who Dr. Jacobs is. But today is his official day as declared in the city of San Diego.

Irwin Jacobs is the founder and CEO of QUALCOMM – pretty much the ONE man that technology industry in San Diego can be attributed to. And in case you were unaware – San Diego IS the WIRELESS CAPITAL OF THE WORLD. (can you tell that this is my job?)

Today we went to a lunch time event which indoctrinated Dr. Jacobs into one of our “sister” organization’s Hall of Fame. It was a rather bland affair to start (mainly because my boss told us that it started, and we had to be there, at 11. When in fact it didn’t start until noon and SHE didn’t show up until 11:45…), the hotel food was trying too hard to be avant-garde (note to kitchen staff, while polenta is yummy, it doesn’t really work out if it has to SIT THERE with chicken and artichoke hearts in sauce on top of it for 45 minutes before being served. Nice try though!) It was the usual speeches from over dressed ass kissers about how wonderful Dr. Jacobs is, how much he’s done for the community, etc. Blah Blah Blah. That was until Dr. Jacobs spoke himself..

Dr. Irwin Mark Jacobs (as he was addressed MANY times) was interviewed by a local talk show host that does stories on San Diego. In fact the interview was being taped for an upcoming show. He asked questions about his past, where he grew up and the events in his life that brought him to where he is today. That’s when it hits you. This is a normal guy, with a normal family that happened to develop a technology that changed the world – HOT DAMN.

He told the story of when he was just a professor (yes, at M.I.T) and how UCSD lured him out when the university just opened. He talked about his relationship with wife and how much they love each other, love their lives and are thrilled that they can give SO much to the places and people that helped them along the way. And you can’t help but think about it.

At 35 this guy had NO clue what he was to become and the mass amounts of wealth that he was going to have later in life. He started Qualcomm hoping to grow it to a company of 100 people! Now he is the 414th richest person on the planet – worth over 1.4 billion dollars. To me, it’s unimaginable. But it also gives me hope and makes me realize that where we are now, is not where we are going to be in 35 years… and you never know what crazy little idea you can have that may end up revolutionizing the world.

And when asked what his favorite part about his life in San Diego is, he simply replied that it was taking long walks down La Jolla Shores with his wife… and every time they get to the end of the beach they promise each other that next year this is were they will come to vacation.

So now I’m off to a monthly telecom networking event, and you can be sure that I will have a glass of wine to toast Dr. Irwin Mark Jacobs day!

It is my duty to make sure you are still hip, with-it and somewhat cool...

2005-05-25T08:35:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile, my FAVORITE ezine Daily Candy, comes out with their "lexicon" edition. These are the new, hot trendy phrases and words rocking the "cool scene" - plus they are downright funny and great to use in passing.

Some old time favorites include "Plus One" (a description of someone who is just along for the ride. "Poor Brit, Kevin Federline is SUCH a plus-one.") and my personal favorite "Teenile" (a person who dresses WELL below her age allows. I'm very big on "age appropriateness", even though I too struggle with it and have to mentally not allow myself to wonder into Forever 21).

Today - the Daily Candy published some new MUST KNOW lexicons, and because I KNOW you all look to me for trend advice, I am passing them onto you. You can thank me later.

dressed to spill
adj. 1. Used to describe a woman's precarious and flirtatious state of dress, wherein a great deal more than cleavage will likely be revealed. (Look at Alexis's nonexistent top. That girl is dressed to spill tonight!)

hybris
n. Excessive pride based solely on one's hybrid car.

margariter
v. To serve a margarita for the express purpose of loosening up. Alt. margaritim. (He's just sitting in the corner, Sally. If you're interested you're going to have to margaritim.)

p.u.i.
n. planning under the influence - the act of plan-making late in the evening, especially with friends, for next-day activities, such as shopping on Melrose and brunch.

restaur-romp
n. A date that gets out of hand at a dinner table and/or bar area. (After two bottles of wine my date turned into a full-on restaur-romp.)

self-valetdation
n. Every now and then, when one parks on one's own, just to get away from it all.

Saturday night fever
n. Often followed by a real fever, the delirium that comes over some women as they get (un)dressed for a Saturday night on the town, believing that the temperature is as much as twenty degrees warmer than it actually is.

Have fun with your new vocabulary!

The PMS

2005-05-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

How PMSie am I?

- I got 'veclempt' at the end of Star Wars
- I bawled last night while watching "Rob and Amber Get Married"

I'm officially insane.

2005-05-23T21:36:00.000-07:00

Nothing like a real nice day at the beach, to make you feel so fine...

Shaken

2005-05-23T08:45:00.000-07:00

We went to visit my parents in LA yesterday, drop off Lucas and sneak out to go see Star Wars. It was a good day – up and back. As we were driving back last night, discussing the various points and questions (I had) about the movie. We were happily going along with Lucas “BAH-ing” in the back when a little, yellow, sports motorcycle cuts right in front of us in the carpool lane, causing Jason to slam on his breaks a bit. The guy was being completely unsafe, so Jason flashed his brights at the biker boy as to say “slow down!”.

The biker then slowed down, so much so that we were right on his tail again and we had to drastically decrease our speed. At this point the carpool lane was 2 lanes, merging into one. The biker pulls in the lane that’s about to merge, slows down so that he is next to us and gives us the finger. At that point, Jason speeds up a bit – just to get away from the asshole. Well, the biker dropped back, came up along the passenger side of our Xterra, and HIT our car with his hand. I reached for my cell phone to call the CHPs, when the biker guy takes off speeding and weaving in out of traffic. Jason speeds up a bit to get the license plate number, the biker is a few lanes over, drops back again, pulls something out of his pocket, then pulls along side our car again and keys the entire passenger side of our car. He then gives us the finger again and takes off going about 95 mph.

Needless to say, I was totally freaked out. The CHP put out a bulletin and we have to go in today and fill out a formal statement. We have a deep scratch stretching almost the entire length of our car…

While, of course I was totally shaken by the experience, when I got out and saw that this jack ass did this on the side of the car that Lucas sits on. I’m also totally freaked out because our car (due to its smurfish hue) is very visible. What if I run into this jerk again when I’m driving? Alone or with Lucas? What if I was driving last night instead of Jason – what would I have done?

This biker boy literally bet his life on us last night. He bet that we wouldn’t do anything as he was assaulting our car. If Jason would have moved the car over 2 inches to the right, the biker would have been a highway pancake.

These are the types of things in life that can push you over the edge with anxiety. These are types of scenarios that you “fear” of having but that people will tell you never will. These are the things that push me closer and closer to that proverbial edge. And keep me further and further away from being able to stop taking medication…

Note to my white shrunken blazer…

2005-05-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

Dear White Shrunken Blazer,

I know that when I first bought you I was a little apprehensive about you. I mean, you are WHITE and I have a toddler! Plus, your small “shrunken” cut meant that I had to buy you in a size bigger than normal – which you KNOW I hate to do. But there was something about you that made me keep you.

WSB (can I call you that now that we are more personal terms?) – let me tell you how happy I am that you are in my life. I don’t know how my spring/summer wardrobe would have been possible had you not been a part of it. I wore you to the Opera and you looked dressy. I wore you with Capri jeans, and you like stylie. I wear you with black pants and I look professional (yet cute).

When nothing else seems to look right.. When I feel fat and bloated… WSB you are there for me.
Thank you so much for your diligent service, and I PROMISE to never drink red wine in your presence.

Love always, or at least until I stain you so bad that you are rendered unwearable,
Beth

People I was in meetings with today:

2005-05-19T17:18:00.000-07:00

A man resembling Robin Williams that had on a blue, orange and brown striped shirt, with a paisley tie.

A bald man with a huge spot of discoloration on his shiny forehand, probably where hair used to be.

A skinny assistant with a horrible nose job, but good hair, that looked even more bored than I was.

And finally…

A SHEMALE
I freaked when I went over and thought I was introducing myself to a tackily dressed tall lady – boy was I surprised when SHIM turned around and said with a booming deep voice “Hello, plea-surre to meet you..” (Think “Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.. PRECIOUS”). While it startled me for a moment, I wasn’t creeped out. But I was strangely amused by the conversation SHIM was having with another lady about which “season” SHIMs coloring was and how lucky she/he was that they could wear both silver and gold.

Yup – Interesting day.

Wondering..

2005-05-18T14:50:00.000-07:00

Is it odd that I can not remember my phone number at work to SAVE MY LIFE, but I have no problem remembering the numbers on my Visa Check Card?

Speaking of Llamas...

2005-05-18T14:38:00.000-07:00

ok, if you want to be technical, this is an alpaca (www.ilovealpacas.com)

TAG – I’m It

2005-05-17T13:35:00.000-07:00

I’ve been tagged by Nikki , who, BTW, just got her 14-month old her first “juicy suit” in SCUBA, which is the color of my new Juicy suit. LOVE IT.

Okay – here is the deal:

I have been tagged, and I will pass on the favor to the 3 at the bottom. The rules are simple, when you're tagged, choose 5 items from the list to write about. Then tag 3 others…

If I could be a scientist...

If I could be a farmer...

If I could be a doctor...

If I could be a painter...

I would paint beautiful little murals on baby’s nurseries..

If I could be a gardener... I would grow this:

2005-05-17T13:34:00.000-07:00

hell yea

2005-05-17T13:31:00.000-07:00

If I could be a missionary...

If I could be an athlete... I would be an Olympic diver. I’ve always wished that I would have worked my ass off swimming to go to the Olympics, alas I wanted to be a cheerleader.

If I could be a lawyer...

If I could be an innkeeper.- I would have a bed and breakfast along the Californian coast

If I could be a professor...

If I could be a writer...I be a columnist for Lucky Magazine – DREAM JOB

If I could be a llama rider...No, wait. LLAMA RIDER - dream job!

If I could be a bonnie pirate...

If I could be an astronaut...

If I could be a world famous blogger...

If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...

If I could be married to any current famous political figure...

So now I will tag:

Libby

Stacy

Jason

And an honoraree 4th Tagee ..
Sandgril

2005-05-14T09:06:00.000-07:00

How Many of YOU Have Ever Kissed Someone That Has Won A Grammy?

I had a little horsey named Paul Revere, Just me and my horsey and a quart of beer...

2005-05-13T16:35:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I reconnected with one of my best friend's from elementary school, Ann - you know, my Fan From Sudan. We were curious as to what all our other 6th grade homies from The Open School were up to, so we started Googling people to see if we could find out any information.

Of COURSE, the first person I googled was my 6th grade boyfriend Ulises Bella. Now at the time I didn't have my never-date-a-musician rule in place, and Ulises was this very cute and serious Spanish boy who played the Clarinet. Now this was 6th grade, but he was my square dancing partner and we occasionally got together with Zachary Roth and Debbie Linden to watch scary movies in the dark. And yes, I am proud to say that Ulises was my first "real" kiss. Knowing that he ended up going to a school for performing arts, I was interested to see where he landed. I was thinking probably in and orchestra somewhere, I mean that's where people who play the clarinet end up, right?

Oh. I was SO WRONG on this one.

Turns out that Ulises now goes by "Uli" and is one of the front men for Ozomatli - one of my favorite bands. The freaky part is that I've seen Ozo about 5 times, and never ONCE did I think "Huh, that guy looks familiar to me". I FREAKED out, MY FIRST BOYFRIEND IS IN A FAMOUS BAND. One that makes money and wins grammys!! HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT?!

I think that I realized this while pregnant, so we've missed them the last few times that they were town. This week the House of Blues opened in downtown San Diego - and the band playing the first weekend? Ozo!! I told Jason that for Mother's Day I wanted to see Ozo, so we go online to see if there are tickets left. Turns out that the show is being promoted by Motorola, one of the sponsors for the organization I work for. I call my girl over there, tell her my little 6th grade boyfriend story and WHADDA' YA KNOW - we got tickets for the show and the VIP reception. Look at us, going to the hottest new venue on opening weekend with VIP tickets. We are the shiz-nit.

The House of Blues is amazing - it's a big enough to see a good show, but small enough that you can see the band and be right there with them. We ended up with some extra tickets, so Marsi from work, BK, Alyssa and Hardy joined us for the fun. While the VIP reception wasn't really all that, it did provide 2 hours of free drinks. Very important considering 2 red bull vodka's were going for $23! (WTF?! I wasn't aware that we had another potato famine that had forced the price of vodka to skyrocket. Are the Saudi's controlling that also?) So we drink up.

The first band consisted of 2 out of the 23 Marley brothers and man on stage in sweats waving a large rastafarian flag. Literally - that's all this guy did was stand on the stage and wave a flag for an hour. It was actually quite impressive, and after about 30 minutes we decided that this man had the best job in the universe. "So, what is your role in the band?" "I wave da' flag, mon." Fuck yea.

Then at about 10:30, Ozo takes the stage. If you have never had the chance to see them live - you MUST. They are arguably the best band I have ever seen live. They are an impressive 10 or so piece ensemble with everything raging from the saxophone to a DJ. They ROCK. Plus, more importantly, they are FUN. You can dance and sing and jump around.

So we spend 1/2 the show in the VIP area upstairs then decide that we need to be down in the action. Of course we head over to the side of the stage where my boy Uli was playing. I was dying to see him and say hi. Jason pushed his way up to the front for us (like any good husband would do when his wife's ex boyfriend from 6th grade is a GRAMMY WINNER). So there we are - about 5 ft away from him. And SOMEHOW I shout out "ULISES!" and he looks down and shouts back "OPEN SCHOOL BETH! I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU!" reaches out and squeezes my hand and then holds up 6 fingers and mouths the words "6th GRADE!" and laughs.

Now, I had been wondering all week if given the chance to say hi to him, if he would even recognize or remember me. I mean, we were each other's first kiss, but do boy's remember those things like girls? Plus it had been 18 years since I had seen him last. I didn't recognize him those times we saw Ozo before, would he even know who I was? So the fact that saw me from stage - and recognized me was huge. Guess my 12 year old self left quite the impression on the boy...

Ozo finished up their 2 hour set with a marching band-ease tromp through the crowd that landed them right by the backstage door near where were standing. Ulises waved as he walked by, then went backstage. So hoping that he would come out and say hi, we waited kinda by the door. And he did.

We talked for about 15 minutes about who we still kept in touch with, who we had heard about, etc. I told him my story about being a fan of Ozo way before even knowing that he was in the band. He told us about his wild ride with Ozo and how they just got back from Mexico where they did a show with Santana. I told him my mom said to say hi to his mom, and he told me to say hi to my parents. He gave a shout out to Mrs. Truitt and Mrs. Zaidner - our 6th grade teachers, and we took a picture.. it was a great little chat. The one thing I regret is not giving him my email address or getting his - I would have loved to have talked more.

Seeing Ulises brought back a lot of memories. Memories of a time of innocence. When a simple kiss was the most exciting thing in the world. My favorite memory of Ulises was on our last day of 6th grade, we were walking to a park a few blocks away from our school for the annual last day of school picnic. Ulises had his little walkman with his brand new Beastie Boys "License to Ill" tape. We had taken the headphones off the medal headband so that I could have one earpiece and he could have the other, and we kept playing and then rewinding "Paul Revere" and rapping along, talking about how the Beastie Boys were the coolest band EVER. Two 12 year olds, walking down the street, never imagining that 18 years later one of us would be part of a band which in my opinion is just as cool as the Beasties..

No Duffle Bag Needed

2005-05-12T20:29:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I first told you about the fun “parties” at Carin and Hillary’s neighbor's house. Last Saturday night, as we pulled up to C and H’s house and were ecstatic to see the two flags, flapping in the breeze, signaling that it was party time. That meant on top of delicious Phil’s BBQ (arguably the BEST ribs in San Diego) we were going to be entertained throughout the night by the “leatherettes” and their endless trains of duffle bags. What the duffle bags are holding is still left to the imagination.

YES! This was going to be a fun night.

We put Lucas to bed in the pack n’ play and we are all sitting around chatting, drinking wine, smoking the hookah (TABACCO PEOPLE. It was apple delight TABACCO) when this large black truck comes creeping by the window looking for parking. This truck was huge – lifted with big off road tires. And the man driving the truck looked straight out of ad for your stereotypical Harley guy. Long hair, long beard… you get the picture. But as the big black beast of a truck flipped a U-Turn in front of the bay widow we were voyeuristically staring out of we caught a glimpse of the back side of the truck. And there in big white letters read the words:
BIG DADDY.

And BIG DADDY didn’t take no duffle bag into the party…

Randomness

2005-05-12T10:32:00.000-07:00

A black fly in my chardonnay..
So we’ve been searching out Day Care Centers for Lucas, but I’ve been feeling guilty about “cheating” on our nanny. Then yesterday when I got home and Melissa left, he started crying. That KILLED me. How was I going to take away his precious Melissa? Well, this morning Melissa gave her 2 weeks – her and her fiancée are moving to Oregon. Problem solved.

Hhhmmm..
Did you know that under formatting in MS Word there is an option for “Asian Layout”?

Talking Back..
Due to popular demand, I’ve re-opened my comments to everyone. Please people, be nice. I’m sensitive.

No, We Really Don’t Have This Much Time On Our Hands and No, We Don’t Do Drugs

2005-05-11T12:09:00.000-07:00

This morning we had an event. One that I will add was wonderfully produced/executed by MY HUSBAND (Snaps to Jason). While making a nametag for himself, one of the attendees put his Starbucks cup down, and the hot sleeve thing scooted down the cup. When Mr. Attendee picked up said cup to take it with him, the lonely sleeve was left behind on the registration table.

Poor Sleeve.

While sitting there, with no hot cup to protect delicate hands from, my colleague Marsi noticed how much Starbuck’s hot sleeves look like Pope Hats. And, of course, because it is every ones secret dream to be able to wear a pope hat, she wanted desperately to put the little sleeve on her head and become Pope Half-Caf Mochachinno Soy Latte the thirteenth.

Alas, we waited until all the attendee for the event went inside and we shut the door. Then, because the caramel scented smoke began to rise, signaling that a new Starbucks Pope had been elected (duh, if it was Vanilla scented that would mean that no decision had been made), she was crowed Pope Mochachinno at last.

2005-05-11T12:05:00.000-07:00

ALL HAIL POPE HALF-CAF MOCHACHINNO SOY LATTE THE THIRTEENTH.

Just wondering..

2005-05-10T18:59:00.000-07:00

a) Do you think that if you work part time that you should be paid less (on an "hourly" basis) than people that work full time just b/c they let you go part time?

b) Does anyone get or understand the various references to songs and movie/TV lines that I use as headers and post titles?

One thing leads to another

2005-05-10T17:55:00.000-07:00

I’ve had one of THOSE days. No time to breathe, eat or pee all day. The 4:00 hits you like a ton of bricks. I have not stopped one day. And worse it’s been one of those days where you are in the middle of one project, then you stop to look up something with leads to something else you needed to do yesterday, so you do that, which leads to an email string with people about something else, which leads to you having to talk to someone on the phone, which leaves you a moment where you are staring at your computer blankly thinking “What the fuck was I even doing to begin with?”

I hate these days because you feel as if you are loosing your mind. I love my 3-day work weeks, but I’ll tell ya’, Tuesdays are a bitch. But at least there is AMAZING RACE – GO ROB AND AMBER!

So with the Tuesdays are a bitch thing and the fact that the ONE good thing about Tuesday is season finaling tonight, a decision was made. I’m going to be working on Mondays again.

Yes yes.. bye bye “foo foo work schedule” – and hello “MONDAY SUCKS” again. It’s for the best. Lucas is older and we are going to be de-sheltering him from his secluded little life of home with Mommy or Melissa (nanny) all day. It’s big boy time. He SO needs it too. He’s bored at home these days, no matter how funny it is the first time I dance around singing Neil Diamonds tunes, it’s not really “stimulating” enough for him anymore. He’s moved beyond the stage of just needing food, diaper changes and love. He now needs structure, rules and playtime with buddies.

People keep asking me how I’m doing with this decision. To be honest, I’m sad. Not sad that he’s going to a center – not at all. But sad that my little baby is growing so quickly. Sad that he is already ready to go off and have adventures without me and be taught things that I didn’t teach him. Sad that before I know he will be in Kindergarten, then Jr. High School, then High School…

It’s a happy kind of sad, but it’s just hard to accept that he’s already ready for more than I can offer.

Follow-Up on the Fish Tacos

2005-05-09T19:51:00.000-07:00

They Sucked.

I hate cooking. I think from now on I will sit on the couch and drink wine while Jason cooks.

Being Naughty and Being Blonde

2005-05-09T17:13:00.000-07:00

I was a bit naughty today. See, I'm making beer battered fish tacos for dinner tonight, and the recipe called for 1 cup of beer. Hmmm.. that leaves about 1/2 the bottle left over. What to do, what to do?? So I drank it. No big deal, huh? Yea, I was making the batter at about 1:00 pm.

I was also very blonde today. I was working away from home, trying to figure out why this guy is getting SPAM in his email account that he set up specifically for use with our organization. INTERNET SECURITY is important (FYI - the ALL CAPS denotes foreshadowing). So then all of a sudden an IM popped up from a guy I worked with on a project 2 Years ago. It was a funny IM that said "Hey, thought you would like to see this" and the "this" was a hyperlink. My immediate thought was "oh, how sweet! I haven't heard from him in years!" as I clicked on the link. Yup - downloaded myself a good 'ole virus. PROOF that I'm a natural blonde.

Spent the better half of the afternoon on calls with my IT and trying to download new things that will kill the virus (yes, not techie, "things" is a great word to describe what I was trying to download). So now my computer begins to scan for viruses. The first one it finds is Trojan.Vundo 3 - I tell my IT guy and ask if that's what this new one is called. His response?

"Oh, that's an old one - you must have had that on your computer for a few months at least."

Um. Hmmm. Let's see here. ISN'T IT YOUR FUCKING JOB TO MAKE SURE THAT I DON'T THESE THINGS AND WHEN I DO TO GET RID OF IT IMMEDIATELY?"

Now, were a small organization with only 4 people, so he's a contract IT guy and not in our office every day. But, the last FIVE times he was in the office I told him my 6 month old computer was acting funny and could he check to see if I have a virus or something.

Moral of this story?
It's okay to be a little naughty (GOD DAMN was I happy I had that 1/2 beer before talking to that nutjob), It's okay to be blonde. But, IT'S NOT OKAY TO BE A DUMBASS THAT CAN'T DO THE ONE THING YOU ARE HIRED TO DO.

Oh and moral #2?
If you get a strange email from me asking you to look at some hyperlink, don't open it. At least not for awhile.

I think I need another beer.

I'll Have a Mimosa - but without the orange juice, and instead of champagne, I'll have some Scotch

2005-05-08T20:42:00.000-07:00

AAHHH Mother's Day... the second one in which I too, am celebrated.

As per tradition, we met my family half way in Newport Beach for lunch. It was a beautiful day, and we sat outside and watched the yachts go by... But lunch with my parents on some kind of holiday is always *interesting*. At least any holiday where gifts are involved.

Jason and I don't always give each other gifts for things besides birthdays (although I did get a beautiful necklace with Lucas' initials on it for my first mother's day last year). The reason being a) we have a joint checking account and b) we are rarely fully satisfied with a "surprise" gift, so we end up "placing orders" and since we share money anyway, why didn't I just go buy it for myself?

I know that it should be the whole "thought that counts", but that's total bullshit. If you are married/in long relationship with someone, the rationale should be that the person buying the gift should KNOW the likes/dislikes of the other person. I mean COME ON. You spend everyday with them and you are at the mall/target/watching TV/reading magazines with or next to this person on a regular basis. They should know about something that you are lusting over and they should know what a good present (in your opinion) entails. No? Am, I asking too much here? I mean what would you think if your husband bought you yoga mat spray and hemp body lotion from The Body Shop and you don't do yoga and have NEVER set foot in The Body Shop with him ever?

Maybe it's me. I'm pretty jaded when it comes to presents and I've realized recently that my anxiety towards gift giving stems from my father (as do MANY other neurosis, but I'll spare you those details). The thing is, my father is one of the WORST gift givers in the universe. His give giving theory is the antithesis of "the thought that counts". I can not remember a time where he has gotten anyone what they actually wanted. When I was 8 I wanted a 10 speed bike. I got a BMX dirt bike. That's a prime example of my father. He doesn't get you what you want, but what he thinks you should have. Occasionally it's worked out for the better, but most of the time you just deal with something that you really didn't want.

Okay, this is the part where you can be thinking that I'm a huge selfish bitch. But if you are going to make the effort to get someone a nice present, wouldn't you get them EXACTLY what they want? I'm not talking about not being able to afford something and going with the cheaper model, I'm talking about telling someone that you want a silver Swiss Amy Watch and getting a gold Rolex.

It's just hard to never get what you want. And it's hard to try to be happy year after year when "your present" is not yours at all. So this year, my dad got my mom a 5.1 Cybershot digital camera. It's a beautiful slim camera about the size of a cell phone that also takes Mpeg movies. The problem? My mom has a one year old digital camera that neither of them know how to use.

The best part was when, 1/2 way through lunch my Mom goes for the camera to take a picture. Only be to be told not to touch and to use the other camera.

Happy Mother's Day! Here is a present that you didn't want and can't even touch!

All I can say - THANK GOD for chardonnay.

Weekend Wishes

2005-05-06T14:48:00.000-07:00

I've been sitting here today thinking. Thinking of things that would make my life easier and better, at least at this very moment.

So here is the question.

If you could have ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. One thing, to land on your lap right now as you are reading my blog, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

For me? To have Mr. Mailman deliver a large check (as in sum of money, not as in Ed McMahon is at my door) in the mail today/tomorrow.

Actually, upon second thought, a small check wouldn't be bad either...

FAR! They’ve been traveling FAR!

2005-05-06T10:02:00.000-07:00

This morning on the Today Show, Neil Diamond was on. THANK GOD I was home for that. He sang, of course, “Coming to America” and “Sweet Caroline.” Yes, you would think that after 20+ years he would have updated his repertoire, but I guess the FANS demand these songs of him.

So, because of my superpower and the fact that we sang “Coming to America” for my 6th grade graduation, I broke out into song. And Lucas broke out in hysteria. Apparently Neil Diamond is vastly amusing to 14 month olds (we all knew there had to be a reason for his continued popularity). Lucas even broke out in applause during “Sweet Caroline” – clapping along during the famous “do do do” section.

Guess we are hitting up iTunes this weekend to download some Neil for Lucas’ playlist.

Go white boy, go white boy, GO!

2005-05-05T16:55:00.000-07:00

Move JT - there is a new king in town..

http://www.glumbert.com/media/dancewhiteboy.html

If You’re Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands!

2005-05-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

“What to Expect The First Year” listed clapping as an accomplishment of about 8-9 months. All the other babies at Tumbles sit nicely in a circle and clap their chubby little hands. But Lucas, noooo he was WAY too busy for that clapping bullshit. He would rather refine his walking and climbing motor skills.

But now it had gotten to the point of paranoia. While some of his skills are under “month 16”, we were still lacking on some of the easier ones. Fear and anxiety were taking hold. WHY WOULDN’T THE KID CLAP? Why does he give you that look that says “You guys are idiots” every time we try to show him how to bang his 2 hands together?

Then last night, Jason said something and started laughing and clapped his hands – and SO DID LUCAS. The rest of the night was spent saying “yayyyyy!!!” and clapping so that he would imitate. He was so impressed with himself.

It was so DAMN cute.

Beth! You Just Had A GREAT Review! You Just Got Raise! What are you going to DO?

2005-05-04T16:44:00.000-07:00

Um, fuck off on the internets?

The Meme Game – Part Deux. I got questions*** and I gave answers. Post if you want questions of your own.

1. What color are your toenails right now?
"French” pedicure.. but ghetto French b/c its chipping and I really need to get a pedi. I should not be wearing sandals, but I still am.

2. Name a movie that you saw as a child, found magical, then saw as an adult and decided that you should have simply savored the memory because the movie? Sucked.
How about as a teenager? Ages 13-15 I went to Sea Camp every summer. 30 days of scuba diving on Catalina Island.. it was magical. We used to watch “The Big Blue” with Rosanna Arquette and Jean Reno and HOTTIE Luc Besson. I LOVED it. About 2 years ago I was THRILLED to discover that it was on HBO one night. I made a whole night around Jason and I watching it. I was so excited.. While still visually stunning, the plot had MAJOR holes and the dialogue was amazingly stupid. I was crestfallen. On a side note – my best friend from when I was 15 (hi Eli!) sent me the DVD a few years back. Directors cut = ENTIRELY DIFFERENT MOVIE. And it was actually good again.

3. How many weddings have you been in? Describe the worst dress.
Four. The dresses actually have not been that bad. I escaped the wedding years w/out ever having to wear puffy sleeves. Thank god for living in CA.

4. You just became the CEO of your own company. What are the first three Human Resources policies you'll implement?
Aloha Fridays and a 9/80 (80 hours in 9 days, every other Friday off) schedule. Everyone loves a Hawaiian shirt – but not as much as a 3-day weekend.

5. Since your husband took care of my Crit final, how many hours should I spend studying for my English final, given that NOTHING I do makes my teacher happy?
Study for finals? I’m sorry, I went to San Diego State… I don’t understand this word you use “stud-dy”. OH! Is that when you meet at Monty’s (on campus pub for you non-Aztecs) and drink a pitcher with your books open?

*** Questions cutosey of Stacy (http://stacyone.typepad.com/slices_ostacy/2005/05/i_always_wanted.html#comments)
yea, i know how to link it, but I'm lazy today...

Yay Me

2005-05-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

I just had my annual review, and its official – I’m GREAT. It’s on paper, signed and dated that Beth is “VERY GOOD” at almost everything. Some things I am "EXCELLENT" at.

Also received a 6% raise but am also going to start working Mondays again (35 hours), and I’m fine with that. Adding the 6% raise and additional 5 hours is something like $10K more a year for us.

I GUESS I can do that. ;-)

Lucas' one man army fighting for the pursuit of being an only child

2005-05-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

STOP POLICE! SOMEONE HAS KIDNAPPED MY CHILD!!

I know that this little 14-month old looks like my kid, I know he's about the same weight, same height and has the same big brown eyes, but I swear. THIS IS NOT MY CHILD.

My child is happy and laughs a lot. My child smiles and runs towards you for big hugs. My child eats, WITHOUT throwing everything on the floor. My child naps and loves going in the car. This IMPOSTER child that someone left me with shrieks this high-pitch squeal that simultaneously makes Jason's testicles retreat up into his body and is pushing me into early menopause. This THING that looks like my child throws his nicely prepared meals on the floor while wailing at the top of his lungs - at home and in restaurants. This FAKE is always miserable, throwing himself on floor in tantrums over I DON'T KNOW WHAT.

DAMN YOU MONTH 14! I WANT MY PERFECT BABY BACK!

At Tumbles today one of the "Funner Trainer" said something to effect of "Watch out for him when he's 2" (THANKS BITCH).. but 2, I'm MORTIFIED of 16.

Conundrum

2005-05-03T11:45:00.000-07:00

Do I go back to work full-time? Do we put Lucas in a daycare center opposed to our Nanny? Do I go back to work and work hard and make more money so that I “put in my time” at work before baby #2? What if I never am able to get my special “deal” back? What if I’m really sick the first trimester with #2 and don’t want to work full time. Will I regret it? But we need a new car for Jason, and we SO want to buy a house.. More $$ would be SO nice. But my Mondays and Fridays with Lucas are SO nice. Does he need more structure these days? Is he bored and not learning enough being at home? He still isn’t really talking and all the stupid books say that he should be saying at least 4 words by now. Maybe if he was in a different environment he would thrive. I don’t want to inhibit his growth and development to be stunted..do we not do enough educational activities with him? We do flash cards, but he seems so disinterested! He’s been throwing fits – are we not good parents? Do I get one of those baby leashes? I hate people with baby leashes, but when I take him out of the stroller he runs off. Is this a stage or his personality? Am I raising a brat? Will a day care center be good for him? Or will he hate it? Will he scream hysterically when I leave? Will he always hate us from taking his beloved Melissa (nanny) away from him? God, am I really considering going back to work full time right before the summer? Am I STUPID?! Is it stupid not to work full time? Am I putting my selfish “need” of time with my little boy before the general welfare of our family as a whole? What is “enough money” to make going back to work full time worth it? How can I put a price on time with my child? Why is life so difficult? Is it this difficult for everyone, or only us?

if de-elevator tries 2 bring u down

2005-04-30T09:55:00.000-07:00

So every once in awhile, I get these emails forwards “you we’re a little girl in the 70’s if…” that describe all the things that we had or coveted in our early years. Things like the ribbon barrettes, sticker books, and easy bake ovens (can you tell me how we ALL didn’t die of salmonella after eating cakes baked by a light bulb?!). I received one of these emails recently, and the one line that jumped out at me most was the line:

“You thought Olivia Newton John's song "Physical" was about Aerobics”

Yes, I will admit that I thought it was. And, I also danced around listening to that song with purple legwarmers on.

Everyone has some random bizarre “superpower” – something that is totally un-useful, but if you ever became a member of a rag tag crime fighting group, this would be your contribution. Well, my superpower is the ability to memorize lyrics. I can still vividly remember being in 3rd grade and my yelling at me that she “can’t understand how I know all the lyrics to all of the Madonna songs, but I can’t memorize my multiplication tables.” So obviously, this was a god-given ability that I was born with. Yes, I know you are all jealous.

So given this talent at an early age, I would always sing along to songs on the radio. I loved Madonna, and I loved Prince (who doesn’t?!) and although I was not allowed to watch the movie Purple Rain, I was allowed to listen to his music, and one of my favorite songs was Prince’s, um.. “Atlantic City.”

A lyric my parents never bothered to correct. See, to a 7/8 year old, the word “erotic” doesn’t exist (THANK GOD), but I knew that Atlantic City was real place, and that’s what I thought they were singing about. In my young mind, that song was a story about people going to Atlantic City to make babies (hehehehehe) and when they combed their hair, lots of goo got in their eyes. HEY – it was the HEYDAY of Depp Gel, and hair did have a lot of goo in it!

So while writing this post today, I did a quick google on the song “erotic city” to see if it was indeed on the Purple Rain album (In fact, it was not – it was a B-Side, dance club hit, of Prince’s “let’s go crazy”). Well, I love Google – and I love all of the 15,000 websites out there with Prince lyrics posted on them. While *memorizing* lyrics is my superpower, my kryptonite is mumbled singing and hard to hear over too much base/drums words. And apparently being too young to understand what certain words are, so substituting them with words I do know. So I’m looking at this site that has the lyrics to Let’s Go Crazy, I realize that Prince is a MOTHERFUCKING GOD. He is a genius and I heart him.

So I leave you today will the immortal words of Prince – take them to heart, read them, love them and please don’t yell at me that the song is stuck in your head the rest of the weekend.

Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today 2 get through this thing called life

Electric word life It means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here 2 tell u

There's something else - The afterworld

A world of never ending happiness U can always see the sun, day or night

So when u call up that shrink in Beverly HillsU know the one - Dr Everything'll Be Alright
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby

'Cuz in this lifeThings are much harder than in the afterworld
In this life- You're on your own

And if de-elevator tries 2 bring u down
Go crazy - punch a higher floor

LaLaLa - Good For Boys Too!

2005-04-29T22:41:00.000-07:00

Friday night plans were to have dinner with our good friends the Magee's (Danielle and "other" Jason) then while the boys were off to see the "Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe", Danielle and I sat on the couch, drank wine, ate ice cream and talked about “our Jasons”.

After the movie, “other” Jason was telling me how much he enjoys my blog. He did say that when I got a little girly and started talking about jeans he doesn’t really “get it”. Then he admitted if when he read these posts he just substituted the word “jean” with “Xbox” and it all made sense to him.

I think my new tagline will be:
LaLaLa – an equal opportunity blog.
:-)

HOW CUTE IS THIS KID (volume 465)

2005-04-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

did you check out the shoes?

And Today's JACKASS award goes to...

2005-04-29T08:30:00.000-07:00

METHUEN, Mass. - Two men who claimed in numerous national television interviews that they found buried treasure in the back yard of a home were arrested early Friday after being questioned by police, who said the money was stolen.

Investigators believe Barry Billcliff, 27, of Manchester, N.H., and Timothy Crebase, 22, of Methuen, Mass., found the old bank notes and bills while doing roofing work
.
Both men were charged with receiving stolen property, conspiracy and accessory after the fact, Lt. Kevin Martin said. They were to be arraigned Friday morning.

Crebase told investigators the men found the money in the gutter of a barn they were hired to repair, police said.

Anonymous tip“We got an anonymous tip two days ago,” Capt. Kris McCarthy told the Eagle-Tribune newspaper of Lawrence. “These guys are roofers. They found the money on the job site. They story after that was all made up.”

The men said they found 1,800 bank notes and bills dating between 1899 and 1928 while digging in the yard of the house of a friend, Kevin Kozak.

The materials had a face value of about $7,000. Domenic Mangano, owner of the Village Coin Shop in Plaistow, N.H., examined the find and estimated its value between $50,000 and $75,000.

The men’s stories, though, attracted suspicion because of discrepancies. The depth of the buried crate, for example, ranged from 9 inches to 2 feet.

The men also gave conflicting reasons for digging in the back yard. They told one reporter they were preparing to plant a tree. In other reports, they said they were trying to remove a small tree or dig up the roots of a shrub that was damaging the home’s foundation.

The men made several appearances on national television this week, but police noticed details of the story changed with each appearance.

Fame led to downfall?Police Chief Joseph Solomon told ABC’s “Good Morning America” that authorities might never have suspected anything had the men not sought publicity.

“Sometimes wanting to be famous is really the downfall of people,” Solomon said.
Billcliff insisted the discrepancies could be explained.

“It’s like watching a car accident,” he told the Eagle-Tribune newspaper. “Sometimes someone will say something and someone else will say something slightly different, but mostly it’s the same.”

© 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
© 2005 MSNBC.com

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7677130/

The Funny Thing About Puke and How it Relates to Deep Fried Twinkie Consumption and the South Beach Diet

2005-04-28T14:02:00.000-07:00

The bizarre thing that I’ve noticed over the past few days of being sick to my stomach, my first reaction is to want to eat. Eat something greasy or carb loaded. Which is SO NOT what my stomach wants.

First off, my stomach has been in need of ridding itself of anything that comes within 3 ft of it. And now a piece of bread a ½ bowl of chicken soup makes me feel like I just feasted like a 300lb Cal Trans worker at Home Town Buffet after a long day of laying asphalt. So why? Why does my stomach say “head for the toilet- QUICK!” and mind think “God I need to get a cheeseburger”??

Then it hit me. The majority of times in my life that I have had cause to throw-up have been when I have drank like fish the night before, or when my body was adjusting to the violent hit of growing another human being inside of it. Both, ailments which were helped by the act of eating something to sooth the stomach. And preferably eating something baked and/or covered in grease.

Yes, I even ate a deep fried twinkie at 12 weeks along, and MAN WAS IT GOOD.

So far, this fun little number the Dr likes to call “gastritis” has helped me to shed 6lbs. The same amount that I lost in phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. Still not sure which way is easier…

Out of the Mouths of Men

2005-04-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

Since my child is not old enough yet to say anything other than “mmeeememmmeemmmeeee” and “BA!”, I’ve decided to share with you the funny, laugh out loud things that my husband says to me (when appropriate).

Here is entry #1 of this new, fun topic.

This morning, marking the forth day since the vomiting began, as I’m hunched over in massive abdominal pain while trying to ingest a piece of toast while not simultaneously purging it from my body through any open orifice, Jason turns to me and says:

“Hey – are you going to make that chicken curry anytime this week?”

I Hate Mommy, I Hate..

2005-04-26T16:22:00.000-07:00

So over the weekend we were listening to a re-broadcast of one of those lame-o morning shows. They were doing this bit called "I hate" where people called up and said what they hated.. it was kinda funny, one girl called in to say that she hated that "her parents were not rich". HA.
Yea, don't we all.

I want to know what you hate. Tuesdays suck more than Mondays b/c it's still early in the week but not early enough to see the weekend.

So for Tuesday, I hate:
The fact that I have vomited up everything I have eaten for the past 48 hours.
That I have a fever and alternate between freezing and sweating my balls off (yes, I know that I don't have balls - but if I did, they would have sweated away by now)
That I'm antibiotics AGAIN
That the Drs have no clue what or where my "bacterial infection" is or is attacking - but that its just there making my life HELL.
And last but not least.. I felt better for 10 minutes and actually got a little hungry, so I ate something and now I think I'm going to yak again...

on that note, I'm off...

Welcome to the world Isla McKay!

2005-04-22T10:40:00.000-07:00

And CONGRATS Shelagh, Jano and big bro Declan on your new little princess!

btw - how many of you ladies out there are popping an egg and squealing while getting complete and total weakjaw (the slack jaw that you get when something adorable like puppies in sweaters) right now? Yea, now yesterday's post is slightly more understandable, huh?

Clarification

2005-04-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, when I posted the other day I’m ready for #2, I really meant in theory… not that I went home the other night with the goal of making a baby.

I guess my feelings have changed about having a second baby. If you would have asked me a few months ago I would have said “HELL NO.” I looked at women that were “with child” and felt sorry for them. The thoughts of breastfeeding and waking up every 3 hours at night to feed made me cringe, and the morning sickness.. ugh. ((shver)) The thought was too horrendous to even imagine..

But now, I don’t know.. the sweet smell of the little babies, the snuggles, the little hands..

Yet, I am still a practical person. I SO don’t want to be pregnant again over the time frame that I was last time (june – march) and we do need to move b/c this place is WAY too small for 4 people and a dog.

So while I’m mentally ready to do it all over again … Don’t look for any blog “NEWSFLASHES” anytime soon…

My dreams of being the techno-savvy chick – CRUSHED

2005-04-21T11:33:00.000-07:00

Last night we were driving in the car and our local “alt rock” station 91X ACTUALLY played a good song (you know – one that that has not been played 15 times in the last 2 hours.) The song was BattleFlag by the Low Fidelity Allstars – one of those great songs that was truley underplayed.

So I whip out my new MOTHER OF ALL CELL PHONES and use the “jotter” feature to “graffiti” in – “Battleflag – lo fi allstars”. Yes! I was so proud of myself. Now I was going to have a great start to my “must download list” on my phone and HOW TECHNO COOL WAS THAT?

So this morning, sitting as my desk and playing with iTunes (yes, I do have better things to do, but I was procrastinating. Oh and note-to-self, maybe make a ‘work appropriate’ playlist as to not have “can a nigga get a table dance blurt out from your computer at work)- I look at my jotter list on my phone, pull up the iTunes store and type it in – ready to download and listen to this song over and over. It’s a good angry song too, would be a good addition to the work-out list…

Then I realize that iTunes is no longer searching. In fact, it’s done. And it’s come up with NOTHING.

NOTHING.

iTunes does not have 1 song by LFAS. It does have other songs called Battleflag, but sadly these are revolutionary war songs or music numbers from Battlestar Gallactica.

Stupid iTunes.

Going # 2

2005-04-21T09:54:00.000-07:00

This week has killed me. As you can see by my lack o’ posts, I have been extremely busy. Here’s the deal, I actually got a promotion at work (YAY ME), but I’m still working 30(or so) a week. SO, what does that mean? It means 60 hours of work in 30 instead of the 45-50 that I was used to.

Yes, I am lucky that I can still keep my 30 hour a week schedule. I love it. I don’t think that I could go back to 5 days in the office. Even though, as I’ve stated here before, there are times when my Mondays and Fridays with Lucas are WAY HARDER than if I was in the office. But for the most part, our Ms and Fs have been pretty nice and tantrum free lately. We have been truly lucky, Lucas is a fabulous baby. He has lots of little quirks (like his willfulness and determination) but all in all he is an amazingly wonderful child. And now that he’s over 1, THAT question keeps getting asked:

“So, when’s number 2?!”

NUMBER TWO. Yeek.

So here’s the deal, if I found out tomorrow that Bill Gates is really my father and he is dying and leaving me all his money, I would have 5 or 8 kids. I would birth my own and adopt – I would be thrilled to give a wonderful life to as many children as possible. But since we are not gazillionaires and we STILL don’t own a $500,000 “fixer upper” in the Ghettos of San Diego, I’m weary of having another child.

Okay, let’s take a strep back. That is one of the MANY reason’s that the whole “#2” remains a question in my mind. Here are a few more:
1) My body still has not recovered from the trauma of pregnancy
2) I was very ill and that memory is still PAINFULLY fresh
3) My job, I’ve figured out how to do it well with 1 kid, but it took a while to get it right. How will I do with 2 kids?
4) DIAPERS. I hate them. They are expensive and they SUCK
5) Since Lucas has been so good, I’m sure that our next will be a colicky hellion that refuses to sleep – EVER
6) Can we really afford to have another one?
7) I would love a baby girl – will I be disappointed with another boy?
8) We’re having fun again, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to “do it all again”…

So many questions fill my mind.. so many doubts and fears. Then yesterday I get a call from one of my best friends Shelagh who now lives in Corpus Christi. The first words were “It’s a girl..”

Yesterday at about 12:50 Shelagh gave birth to a healthy 6.15 lbs baby girl that they named Isla Mckay (pronounced in the Gaelic way “eye-la”). Instantly it hit me.

I’m ready for number 2.